


My Heart Will Go On

by kjonginexo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Arranged Marriage, Death, Fluff, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, RMS Titanic, Smut, i didn't think it would be, infidelity for a good cause, it's literally the titanic but sekai and i changed a few things okay, this fic is so hard to tag, you'll understand when you read it if you haven't seen the movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-24 03:44:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17697026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kjonginexo/pseuds/kjonginexo
Summary: They called the Titanic the ship of dreams, and that’s because it truly was.orit's the titanic but with sekai and I changed a few things.





	My Heart Will Go On

**Author's Note:**

> send me requests or notes about how i'm doing at my tumblr: kaihunnies

The clay felt smooth between Jongin’s fingers, the clay muddying up his fingers with grey as he spins the pottery wheel. He stared focused at the vase he was crafting with his hands, he started it this morning and he didn’t intend on stopping until he had to eat lunch, dinner, whatever time it was currently. His grandson was in the kitchen, cleaning up a few of the dishes as he entertained his dog Monggu, always a busy thing, it made Jongin smile to himself. His fingers were wrinkled as he looked at the clay, remembering a time when they weren’t wrinkly and when they were thin and slender. 

He knew aging was part of life, he lived a full one and to him, it was like each wrinkle told a story. The TV was playing with the news, he had it turned on to Wheel Of Fortune that morning but as the shows went on it turned into the news. Jongin was half listening, paying mind to the words droning on about the good things, charity events in the area, national news about the weather or how the government was holding up until he heard a keyword, Titanic. He turned his head over his shoulder, watching the TV where a submarine was in the water with lights on the boat covered in seaweed and corals, deep water fish swimming in and out of portholes in the cool dark water. 

His hand gripped his cane, not minding about getting it dirty and pushed himself up, pacing over to the television to stand in front of it, paying attention fully to the words. “So what’re you down there looking for?” The reporter asks the short man with shaved hair, wide round eyes, and circle framed wire glasses on the bridge of his nose. “I can show you what we’re looking for, actually.” The camera panned to a drawing in water, a naked man with the necklace around his neck. Jongin’s eyes widened as he watched the TV when the drawing from the wreckage was shown, he gasped a little and looked up at his grandson.

“People are calling you a grave robber for taking things from this ship, what is your response to that?” The reporter asked the shorter man who flashed a charming smile, shaking his head. “People uncover things from tombs and fossils all the time. Are you telling me that you’d rather have this drawing in the ocean for more than it already has been? It’s been 84 years, and it’s finally on the surface for everybody to see as well with other artifacts. They weren’t supposed to be down there in the first place.” Jongin gasped as the drawing filled the screen once more, a handsome man with soft eyes that held a casual modesty to them, despite being nude with hair across a pillow and strands on his forehead. Plump lips curled into a little smile, arms above his head and hung over a pillow, torso toned down to the outline of his penis and thick thighs were shown but not shaded, it was only meant for the torso and up. “Taehyung, the phone please.”

It took a few moments of calling, insisting to talk to the short man that Jongin saw on TV, and it seemed he finally made a breakthrough after being on hold for a few moments when a very stressed voice made his way through the phone. “Kyungsoo Do, what can I do for you, Jongin..” Jongin cleared his throat with a small smile, “Jongin Park.” There was a little sigh, “Mr. Park?” Jongin looked down at his feet as he spoke, “I was wondering if you had found the heart of the ocean yet.” There was a little shocked sound and a sputter before his throat cleared, “could you tell me who the person in the picture if you know what the necklace is then?” Jongin laughed a little, “of course I can, the man is me.”

 

Jongin was instantly flown out to the boat in the middle of the sea just above where the Titanic sank. He was excited, not reliving any horrible experiences like his grandson was concerned of. Jongin waved Taehyung off with a little smile and ‘live a little, Tae’ and got escorted off the helicopter on the good sized yacht. Taehyung carried their bags to the small cabin, letting Jongin unpack a few of his belongings for a few until the short man himself, Kyungsoo, came into the room with a smile and a few people trailing behind to see him. “Is this room all right for you? I’m Kyungsoo, this is Jongdae and my other associate Zitao.” 

Jongin smiled at the shorter male and the other two men, taking out pictures he always took with him anytime he traveled with a little smile on his lips. “Lovely, by the way, this is Taehyung, he’s my grandson. He’ll be attending today to see everything I used to once have.” Kyungsoo chuckled quietly and clasped his hands together with a polite smile, “is there anything else you’d like?” Jongin nodded, eyes warm and raised himself on his cane that still had a little of clay staining the grip. “I’d like to see my drawing.” Kyungsoo nods and leads them through the tight hallways and down a flight of stairs with added help to Jongin who assured he was fine but they offered nonetheless. 

In the room was television screens of the submersible underwater with many chairs surrounded by one desk. There was a table of tubs of water with things preserved in the water, next to it was another table of trinkets found at the bottom of the ocean. Jongin didn’t look to those just yet and followed Kyungsoo over to the tub of water in the center, eyes meeting the charcoal drawing of himself. He had a little vision of narrow cold brown eyes with fondness in his eyes flash across his mind, making Jongin close his eyes to try to tap into that vision until opening his eyes with a soft little pleased sigh. “Is that really you?” Taehyung asked from over his shoulder, making Jongin laugh quietly. “Of course it’s me, you’ve seen the pictures of me from when I was young.” 

Kyungsoo paced over to the desk and grabbed a photo of reference of the necklace, “Louis the Sixteenth wore a fabulous stone, called the Blue Diamond of the Crown, which disappeared in 1792, about the time Louis lost everything from the neck up. The theory goes that the crown diamond was chopped too… recut into a heart-like shape… and it became Le Coeur de la Mer. The Heart of the Ocean. Today it would be worth more than the Hope Diamond.” Jongin rolled his eyes at that with a little scoff, waving off the picture in dismissal. “The thing was very heavy, I only wore it once for this drawing. I absolutely detested it any other time.” 

Kyungsoo’s eyes widened but continued and spoke softly, “I did my research and before you were Jongin Park, you were Jongin Oh, but before then you were Jongin Kim and you were engaged to a woman named Jennie Ruby Lane. The claim is under your father's name which was purchased in France for your fiancé, is that correct?” Jongin nodded, clearing his throat a little and Kyungsoo pointed to the drawing. “You were wearing this necklace on the day the Titanic sank in 1912 if you are whom you claim you are. If you can help us find it I will happily compensate you in whatever you’d like.” Jongin shook his head at that, looking at the drawing. “I don’t need your money, I’d like this drawing if you can find a way to give it to me.” Kyungsoo smiled to himself, “deal.” 

Kyungsoo led them over to the next table where the trinkets were all laid out, mostly silver but some had some broken gems or jewels missing. Jongin felt like he was transported back in time looking a few of these things, but one thing stuck out and it was his own gold pocket watch that was obviously broken but it had his name engraved into the back of it. He turned it over and his name was a bit rusted, but Jongin Kim was engraved in calligraphy against the metal. “This is mine... this is extraordinary.. it looks exactly like the last time I saw it, minus it not ticking.” Jongin moved over to a handheld mirror, smiling, a mother of pearl crusted mirror. “This was my mothers.. exactly the same as well.”

Jongin looked into the mirror to see his aged face and he chuckled quietly, “my reflection changed but the mirror hasn’t.” Jongin looked up at the monitors, ignoring Kyungsoo informing him of the submersible live under the water in favor of walking over to the bow railing of the ship making the small group of people follow behind. He resonated so deeply with that bow railing, it thrummed at his heartstrings and made his eyes sting with water threatening to well in them. Jongin took a seat in the office chair, leading the others to follow but he didn’t care and just stared at the bow railing that used to be white and pristine. A new voice spoke making his attention turn away from the screen, Jongdae was pointing at the screen, “The bow was struck at the bottom like an ax. I can run a simulation on the monitor over here.” 

Kyungsoo went to argue but Jongin shook his head, interested in what happened from the boat in an afar scale. “It’s fine, I’d like to see.” Jongdae went onto explain what was going on the screen while Jongin more focused on the monitor. He watched the side of the boat scrape along the iceberg and rip holes into the metal fo the bottom of the ship, flooding the bottom forward compartments and the ship starts to tilt forwards. The bow was starting to go down, making the stern raise up slowly at first then rapidly until there was too much weight on the hull, making it break in half and sink back down to float. Water filled the middle of the break as the bow sunk, leaving the stern to flood and tilt completely down and sink into the water. 

Jongin tuned back in with Jongdae saying “pretty cool simulation huh?” Jongin chuckled and nodded, “thank you for the simulation but the process itself being on the boat wasn’t as clean and technical.” Kyungsoo’s face was stern but the concern was etched in his features, “do you want to tell us about it?”

Memories popped in Jongin’s head of people running around and screaming, children crying and standing alone in the freezing waters of the flooding hallways, people falling off the sides of the boat. Jongin watched the monitors travel along the empty dark boat, making his eyes water and tears trickle down his cheeks. “Do you want to rest, grandpa?” Taehyung offered and Jongin’s voice was strong, “No! I need people to know the story of what happened.” Jongin turned to face the group of people awaiting his words. “It’s been 84 years… and I can still remember what the air smelled like when it was time to board. The fresh paint, the feeling of the sheets that had never been slept on, the feeling of the wind hitting my face. They called the Titanic the ship of dreams, and that’s because it truly was.” 

 

The Titanic stood tall and strong at the dock, people waving their hats around rapidly from the boats or the lines of people docking onto their proper class sorting. A white car pulled to the valet section and powered off, the door opened to reveal a freshly polished dress shoe and out came an 18-year-old Jongin with hair free of gel, a white button down with a black suit jacket over his shoulders and slacks, tan skin glowing in the sun. His fiancé, Jennie, exited the car on the other side and Jongin stared up at the ship with a feeling of dread filling his stomach. “I don’t see the fuss, it seems to be the same size as the Mauretania.” Jongin quipped to Jennie while his father got out of the car, offering a scoff. “Don’t be blasé about the Titanic, son. It’s far more luxurious, Parisian cafe, Turkish bath, large dining rooms, beautiful new China.” 

Jongin rolled his eyes and looked down at the cobblestone as he boarded the ship, listening to Jennie chat happily with his father. “So, they say this ship is unsinkable?” Her light voice asked, making his father laugh happily, “Of course they do! Look at it! Not even God himself could dare to sink this ship!” His father’s personal butler tagged along, Yifan, someone Jongin had never been too fond of but never expressed his disdain. “Sir, we’ll have to get our baggage checked at the main terminal.” Jongin’s father rolled his eyes at that with a humored smile and tipped his butler to bribe whomever it was at the baggage terminal to let them smooth through. “You know what to do.” 

They followed behind Yifan, pushing past people of the lower class and listened to his father's disgusted grunts and groans, Jennie voicing her own opinion on a few of their outfits while Jongin kept his lips firmly pressed shut. They made their way up eventually to one of the luxury suites, Jennie squealing as she started preparing for what outfit to wear with dinner and getting the maids to assist her on the corset of her choice. Jongin still felt that dread, that eery sad dread. For everyone else, it was the ship of dreams but for Jongin it was like a prison sentence to take him back to America in chains and shackles forever. He was brought up well, outwardly he was well mannered but on the inside, he was screaming for release. To be rude, to stop being polite, to break free, to do something with his life instead of being the husband his father needed him to be for a girl he didn’t even love. 

“I get you and your fiancé a beautiful luxury suite, the most expensive money could afford, on the most glamorous ship of our time and you act as if you’re going to your execution,” his father scolds, hand tight on his shoulder, “put a smile on your face.” Jongin did as told, a fake smile landed on his lips and when his father looked away, the smile was wiped. 

 

Across the skyline from a small bar just a short running distance away from the docks, steam could be see let out from the large steam horns above the ship giving the signal the ship would leave in ten minutes, but who was paying attention to that during a very serious poker game? Not the four men who sat at the table with a pile of things to wager in the center. Coins, a pocket watch, pocket knife, and two tickets to board on the Titanic. Sehun held his cards close to his face as he sat next to his shorter friend, Minseok who was also holding cards. 

Sehun sat in a light brown colored canvas style button down, top two buttons undone and brown suspenders hung over his shoulders connected to brown slacks that cut off at the ankles and ratted out work boots. His hair was unkempt, long and a little gel hung in his hair or it could’ve been a little grease from the lack of showering. Sehun vouches for it to be a gel. Next to him was a sketchbook and his charcoal supplies at his feet, he didn’t dare bet those, it was his life work. 

Sehun lightly tapped the table, looking up at the Swedish men sitting across from them. “Hit me again, Sven.” Sehun played a beautiful poker face as the man handed him a card, intimidated albeit but Sehun couldn’t find it in him to mind much. Sehun held his cards in his hands and sighed out just as the final blow of the horn went off in the boat just down the cobblestone streets. “Moment of truth boys, someone’s life is about to change.” The three men revealed their cards, Sven getting a two of a kind but Sehun hadn’t revealed his cards. “Two of a kind? Oh, sorry Minseok,” Sehun turned to his friend who looked panicked, “what do you mean! That was all my money what-“ “sorry you aren’t going to see your mom in a long time.”

Sehun smacked his cards down on the table, revealing the full house, leaving both him and his friend to grab each other's hands and do a little excited shake, standing up. “Thank you so much for your time, I deeply appreciate your business boys. We’re going on the Titanic!” A bar patron laughed, “you have five minutes if you plan on making it.” Minseok and Sehun looked at each other with wide eyes and scraped their earnings in the single bag Minseok carried, leaving the two dashing down the cobblestone streets with loud laughs echoing the building as they ran across the docks. The boat was starting to pull out, leaving Sehun to wave the tickets high in the air, “wait! We’re passengers!”

The officer in patrol eyed them wearily, “did you go through the inspection? Both of you?” Sehun laughed as if they’d ever had forgotten to go through the inspection spot and snorted quietly. “Of course we did, besides, we don’t have lice. We’re Americans.” The officer eyed them and they both tried their best convincing look, quickly the officer extended his hand, “come along then.” They breezed by the cop who was looking at their tickets, chasing one another up the stairs to the bow of the ship and laughed loudly, their laughs echoing loudly throughout the ship and they climbed the railing, holding onto the ropes of the mooring lines. “We’re the luckiest sons of bitches in the world!” Their yells echo while the Titanic pulled away from the dock. 

 

Jongin sat on one of the loungers in the millionaire suite that his father had so handsomely booked for them while works of art made their way into the room. Jongin stood and made his way over to the water lilies by Monet, admiring the artwork before moving onto a painting of cubism, sitting and admiring it. “Those paintings were a waste of money, they look to be like mud puddles.” Jongin shook his head, looking up to see paintings get brought in such as Degas of dancers and works he didn’t know the name of. “You’re wrong, they’re fascinating. It’s like looking into the headset of a dream. What’s the artist's name?” His father rolled his eyes, stepping into the lounge room. “Picasso. He won’t amount to anything, you’ll see. I’m just glad the portraits were cheap.” Jongin moved over to the bedroom to see a maid putting away his clothes, smiling at her. 

“Don’t you think this is amazing?” She asks, he thinks her name is Trudy, but he nodded and smiled softly at how astounded she is. “It is lovely.” The maid sighed happily and continued to put away the clothes. “It’s like they made the place for us, just think that when I crawl in the sheets tonight I’ll be the first to-“ her words were cut off by Jennie sauntering in. “And when I crawl in the sheets tonight I’ll still be the first.” Her hands gripped Jongin’s biceps, making the maid flush at the innuendo while Jongin felt an icky tar feeling coat his chest. “Excuse me,” the maid spoke softly and excused herself. “The first and last, forever,” Jennie assured and kissed Jongin’s cheek, moving away to stare at the spot she was just standing in, feeling that black tar fill him with endless dread. It’s all he could feel, dread and sadness lingering in his chest. 

 

The next afternoon they were heading out just past Ireland and on their route, the first class people had the opportunity to meet the builder of the ship and the captain after a tour of the boat, naturally, Jongin was dragged along despite wanting to walk around the ship. His father insisted of course, and Jennie helped push the decision, he couldn’t particularly say no. The only savior of his whole experience and tour was a man named Byun Baekhyun. His father classified the man as new money since he hit gold out west, he grew up poor and didn’t act as a first-class person was, leaving him on the butt of the jokes and behind on most of everything since he wasn’t ‘refined’. Jongin found comfort in it though, it’s something he admired about the shorter man who stood before them, glamorous but mouthy with an opinion about everything. Jongin found the boat was a boat, much like the ones he had been on in the past with maybe a few more lavishes the others didn’t have that those around him deeply appreciated with their fake posh laughter. The builder was nice, Mr. Yixing Zhang, who didn’t like so much attention on him but he enthused Jongin’s questions about how the boat holds up and why one of the steam barrels didn’t blow out steam, etc. 

They ended up at the restaurant, sitting down at one of the larger tables. Jongin dug through his trench coat for his carton of cigarettes and lit one, inhaling and exhaling out the smoke and heard Jennie’s little scoff sound. “Jongin, you know I don’t like when you do that.” Jongin’s father snipped the cigarette between his fingers, “of course he does,” and put it out in the ashtray making Jongin look at him blankly. His father smiled at the waiter who had come to take their order, “lamb, rare with the mint sauce for my son and I.” His father turned to look over at Jongin, “you like lamb correct?” 

Jongin couldn’t nod, form words, just stared at the man across from him with an expression of disbelief that his life was being controlled by his father. He couldn’t do anything about it because if he were to talk back he’d get hit, and he couldn’t handle that in a public setting. “Are you going to cut the lamb for him too, sir?” Baekhyun piped from across the table and Jongin flashed a tiny smile, earning a glare from his father. “Excuse me, I need some air,” he cleared his throat and stood from the table and made his way out to the deck promenade to overlook the ocean against the skyline. He took a breath, centering himself to keep up this facade and that it’s not the end of the world for right now. Jongin just needed to appease his father to avoid a public scene or an altercation later in the suite, that marrying Jennie is the right thing to do even if it makes an ick fill his stomach. 

Jongin looked down with a shaky breath before looking back up, meeting the eyes of a man down on the lower deck for the lower class. He couldn’t see his face very well, but from what he could, he had thick brows with long black hair that was styled back with a strand hanging down his forehead. He wore a light beige button down and suspenders that went over his shoulders, slacks that seemed to cut too short on him and ratted shoes. From what Jongin could see, he was handsome, and it made a little warmth fill his chest until he felt a strong grip on his bicep. “Are you done?” His father asked, making Jongin yank his arm out of his grip and walk back into the restaurant without another word. 

Jongin sat at the dining room parlor with laughs sounding so far in his ears, staring down at the table and in his lap without a care in the world for what was going around him. He saw his whole life like he already lived it, he feels. Parties, shuffleboard, polo, yachts, being the trophy husband for a woman he didn’t love and he couldn’t understand why he didn’t love her or why every time she kissed his cheek it disgusted him. He felt like he was screaming and crying for help, tumbling down the deep end and no one stopped to care, pull him back, nobody took a second glance. 

The hours blurred until he sat alone in the suite while everyone was out enjoying the nightly activities, staring at himself in the mirror until he let out a yell. Jongin stood and pushed things off the vanity, ignoring the sounds of breaking glassed and tears fell down his face. Anger, angry with himself for feeling so confused with Jennie, angry that he hates himself and the way he allowed his life to be controlled, shaking with emotions he didn’t comprehend just feeling everything all at once. He ran out of the room, short-sleeved shirt on and expensive slacks, dress shoes as he ran all the way out to the sternum of the ship with tears sliding down his face, as he bumped into people not minding. 

He didn’t notice the man laying on the bench staring at the stars with a cigarette in his mouth as he ran to the railing, swallowing down a breathy shaky cry and looked down at the choppy water that mimicked the dark thick black sky above. Jongin hoisted himself above the railing slowly, lowering himself on the other side with his back against the railing and held onto it as he turned to face the water with shaky breaths and slow tears trailing down his face. He ignored the footsteps against the wood flooring, stuck in his own world of trying to understand the emotions until a voice made him jump a little. “Don’t do it,” Jongin turned around to see the man from the promenade earlier standing behind him in a thin coat and hands in the air.

“Stay back! Don’t come any closer!” Jongin’s voice shakes but the man kept his distance, hands still up in the air, tears still trailing down his cheeks as he watched the man. “Take my hand, I’ll pull you back in.” Jongin shook his head and looked at the water then back at the man, trying to make his voice insistent. “No! Stay back! I’ll do it, I mean it. I’ll let go.” The man put his hands back in his pockets, shaking his head a little. “No, you won’t.” Jongin’s face contorted in confusion, a bit taken aback at someone talking back to him for the first time who was of lower class and not his father. “What do you mean I won’t? Don’t presume to tell me what I will and will not do. You don’t know me!” The man, still had a light tone that seemed almost careless but it wasn’t, it just was easy going and Jongin felt a little confused. “You would’ve done it already, just take my hand.” 

Jongin’s confused at how he seems so well put together, wiping his tears with his hand and almost lost balance before he scrambled back to hold onto the railing. “Go away, you’re distracting me.” He muttered beneath his breath, looking back at the water. “I can’t do that. I’m involved now. If you jump in I guess I’ll have to go in after you.” Jongin scoffed at that, looking back to see the man taking off his jacket. “You’d get killed!” The man shrugged, starting to undo his left shoe, “I’m a good swimmer.” Jongin blinked a little as he watched before turning back to look at the water, weighing out his next words to just get this guy to leave him alone. “The fall alone would kill you.” The man only chuckled at that, catching him off guard once more and looked up his shoulder at him. “It’d hurt, definitely not saying it wouldn’t hurt but I’m more concerned about the water being cold.” 

Jongin looks down, pausing for a minute as reality started to sink in about what he was doing, where he was, voice a little softer but still stern. “How cold?” The man dumped his left shoe on the ground next to his coat, “freezing, maybe a couple degrees over. Ever been to Colorado?” Jongin was confused now, turning to face him more with his back turned a bit. “No?” The man dropped his right shoe on the deck, “I grew up there. My dad and I used to go ice fishing and one day while we were walking out I fell into some thin ice… I’m telling you. Water that cold feels like a thousand knives are hitting your body all at once. You can’t breathe, you can’t think about anything other than the pain of being that cold.” The man paused to sigh, hands stuffed in his pants pockets. “Which is why I’m not excited about jumping in after you but I’m hoping you’ll do me a solid and climb over the rail to get me off the hook. As I said, I’m involved now.” 

Jongin blinked a few times, looking down at the water, “you’re crazy.” The man stepped closer to him, extending out his hand. “With all due respect, I’m not the one hanging off the back of the ship right now. C’mon take my hand.” Jongin looked at him, ignoring the warm fluttering feeling in his stomach at seeing him up close and how handsome he is. It felt like that icky tar feeling was gone, and that made him trust to take his hand and carefully turn on the railing. “I’m Sehun Oh.” The man spoke, making Jongin smile very faintly, voice shaking a bit from the fear coming over at him, “pleasure to meet you, Mr. Oh.” His head tilts down to watch his footing and when he thinks it’s good he takes a step up. Jongin felt the ground beneath him slip and let out a piercing scream as he fell, dangling against the side of the ship with a scream.“Help me! Help me please!” 

Sehun held onto his arm with both hands, starting to pull him up and Jongin’s foot scrambled to place on the railing before falling back down now. Tears streaming down his face, wanting to live now and experience life without that icky black tar feeling he felt with Sehun just now. “Hey hey! I’m not going to let you go, pull yourself up come on!” Jongin’s other arm that gripped the rail pulled himself up while Sehun helped in the process, helping pull him over the rail and slipping back a bit with Sehun slightly on top of him and both of them looked each other over as their breaths fogged in the night air. 

Jongin felt safe right here with Sehun, looking into his eyes with his hands on either side of his head. Butterflies swarmed in his stomach as he stared up at the other man, both of them seemingly caught in their own world when they stared at one another. Even if Jongin still had tears streaming down his face some, he felt at peace staring at Sehun until that bubble of peace was disrupted by an officer yelling above them, “what’s happening here!” 

He shoved Sehun off of Jongin, looking over at his ripped clothing and tears on his face, Jongin couldn’t form words and neither did Sehun apparently as the officer pointed to Sehun. “Stand up, do not move a single inch!” Sehun stood, hands put in his pockets as a few more seamen came to wrap Jongin in a blanket. They sent for someone to get Jongin’s father, leaving Jennie to stay sleeping in the bed. His father came storming out with Yifan as cuffs were placed on Sehun, pointing at him. “What made you think you could put hands on my son? Look at me when I’m speaking to you, filth!” Jongin stood now, feeling irate at the mere insinuation at hand that the seamen and his father were making, the initial shock wearing off as he pushed his father back. “He saved me, father.”

It was the first time he had ever talked back to his father, especially in front of other people and it left the man in a state of shock as he blinked down at his son. Yifan even was caught off guard as he stared at Jongin, then switching to glare at Sehun. “It was um, stupid really. I was leaning too far over and I happened to slip.” Jongin looks over at Sehun, making that short glimpse of eye contact and seeing the smile on his thin pink lips encouraged him to keep going. “I was leaning way over to see the um… uh… propellers! Yes, those and I slipped and I would’ve gone overboard if Mr. Oh here hadn’t saved me.” Jongin smiled softly at his father who only blinked in disbelief at him, “you wanted to see the propellers?” The officer at hand sighed, shaking his head. “Is this how it went?” He addressed Sehun who nodded, “Uh huh, that was pretty much it.” 

The cuffs were disarmed and his father smiled tightly, meeting Yifan’s gaze. “Something for the boy?” He addressed Sehun who was rubbing his wrists as Jongin stood shyly, eyes locked on Sehun without breaking eye contact. “Of course, a 20.” Jongin scoffed at that, crossing his arms over his chest, “that’s your reward for saving your son?” Jongin’s father met his eyes, testing his boundaries until turned back to Sehun. “He has a point. You can join us for dinner tomorrow.” Jongin locked eyes with Sehun, who nodded with a small smile directed at him that made small butterflies flutter in his chest. “Sounds more than amazing.” Jongin bowed his head politely and kept the smile, Sehun only met it back before he was turned to be taken back to his room but not without glancing back to see Sehun standing in the same spot and watched his retreating form.

 

Jongin sat at the vanity that had been cleaned up it seemed and read through a few works he had brought along, manuscripts until he heard the door open. Jongin’s eyes lifted to see his father standing by the safe, opening it up and spoke as he did. “I know you’ve been feeling low as of late, and I won’t begin to understand why. I was saving this for your engagement party with Jennie once we land in New York, but I suppose I can give it to you now so you can see the lavish gift you’ll be giving her.” A large green velvet box was opened in front of him, revealing a silver chain with a large blue diamond heart encrusted with diamonds surrounding it. Jongin seemed to see a million reflections in the crystal, lips slightly parted in disbelief as he looked up at his father. “The heart of the ocean? For Jennie?” 

Jongin knew it was a reflection of their own riches, not a gift of love, but how well off they could be and to impress Jennie’s family into merging their funds together to build a rather impressive empire. It felt heavy as he took it out of the case, he stared at it and saw it as a collar for the thing his father had wanted him to be like his father wanted him to be locked in the safe along with it. Trapped under his fingers, he knew Jennie would like it, but staring at it he saw himself being handcuffed delivering him to prison. Jongin didn’t say anything as he put it back in the case, smile tight. “You can put it away now.” Jongin watched as his father put it in the safe, making that black tar feeling until he thought of Sehun once more and it faded away. 

 

The sun felt good on Jongin’s tan skin, walking next to Sehun made it even better. That sticky tar feeling was completely gone from his chest as he walked next to him. Jongin and Sehun ignored the glances from the mismatched couple. Sehun dressed in a nearly identical outfit to what he had on last night while Jongin had casual first class wear on his body, both of them had ungelled hair and it bounced with each step they took, arms swinging by each other as Sehun carried his folder that Jongin eyed a few times. “Do you have a name by the way?” Sehun asked, making Jongin giggle shyly. Something he hasn’t done before and he chucks it to forgetting something as simple as his name. 

“Jongin Kim.” Sehun hummed and there’s an awkward silence. Jongin can’t place why there’s an awkward silence but maybe they feel out of place with one another. A lower class talking to a first class person, or maybe the fact that Sehun saved his life last night caused some tension between the two that made the air thick. Jongin swallowed and turned his head to look him over, “Look, Mr. Oh-“ “Sehun.” “…Sehun, I just… It took me all morning to get the courage to face you after what had happened last night.” Sehun chuckled quietly a side smile gracing his lips that Jongin had to hold in the back of his mind that he found it pretty. “Here you are,” his lighter voice quipped and Jongin nodded, nervously fiddling with his fingers. “Here I am and I just wanted to thank you for saving me and for keeping that between the both of us.” 

“You’re welcome, Jongin,” Sehun said simply and Jongin sighed out quietly, fingers running through his hair. “I know what you must be thinking. Poor little rich boy. What does he know about pain and misery?” Jongin expressed out into the air and looked over at Sehun who shook his head, indifference on his face. “That’s not what I was thinking in the slightest. What I was thinking is who hurt this boy that made him think there was no other way out?” Jongin sighed out in frustration, stopping where it was emptier than the rest of the deck and shrugged his shoulders. 

“I don’t know… it started as one thing and then another piled on top of it until it felt like too much weight and I became stuck underneath all of this. I was stuck in their world… it feels like a black tar weighing in my chest. I just had to get away, and I had to run until they couldn’t find me anymore where they couldn’t control me anymore. That I’d show them!” He sighed out, the look on Sehun’s face was enough to know what he’d said next and sure enough, “you’ll show them by being dead?” Jongin whined, burying his face in his hands a bit embarrassed at sounding so dramatic and stupid all at the same time. “I’m an idiot.” Sehun shook his head when Jongin looked up. “Is your father one of them?” Jongin hesitantly nodded, scratching the back of his neck. “He’s the root of the problem, he has me engaged to a woman for money purposes and controls me.” 

Sehun looked at him for a few moments before asking “do you love her?” The question should’ve been simple, it should’ve been yes and he should’ve moved on but instead, he felt a bit of disgust. Something completely opposite from what he feels with Sehun when he stares into his eyes. He doesn’t feel that warmth or safety, butterflies filling the pit of his stomach. “Excuse me?” Sehun shrugged, holding the folder to his chest. “Do you love her? If you don’t love her, don’t marry her.” Jongin snorted, sighing out quietly. “It’s not that simple, Sehun. Don’t judge me until you’ve seen my world.” Sehun smiled, “I am tonight.” Jongin smiled back at him, a little blush on his cheeks by the way Sehun seemed to look at him before reaching forwards to take the folder from his hands and open it to see sketches. “Are you an artist?” 

Sehun moves for them to sit down on a bench while Jongin looks through, seeing a few people with names at the bottom and Sehun’s signature in the corner. He saw an old woman sitting in front of a coffee, staring into it. A father and a daughter flying a kite in the park, he’s so enraptured he almost misses Sehun speaking. “I wouldn’t call myself an artist but I do love to draw.” Jongin thinks that’s modest since he’s a beautiful artist, very good, Jongin nudged him lightly, “I’ll call you an artist then.” Sehun laughed and before he could form a reply, Jongin flipped the pages to find nude men on the pages. Sometimes it’d focus on their eyes or hands, and it made him blush if it were full body sketches. “And these were drawn from life?”

Sehun nodded, scooting over to smile at the sketches, obviously proud of them and Jongin would understand why. “Yes, the good thing about Paris is that a lot of men were willing to take their clothes off.” Jongin saw the same model a few times, mumbling to himself, “you liked this one a lot. You’ve used him quite a few times.” Sehun gestured to his hands, “he had beautiful hands.” Jongin looked at him with a little smirk, “did you have a love affair with him?” Sehun shook his head, “just with his hands… you’d be more my type.” Jongin blushed darkly and that warmth, those butterflies, everything came rushing back to his body and he felt so good as he looked over at Sehun. “Be quiet, where are your manners?” He joked, leaving both of them to laugh. 

The sun was beginning to set, having Jongin look up at Sehun as the orange sun illuminated Sehun’s face making him look golden beneath the lighting. “You know my dream has always been to be an artist and just live. I may be poor but I’d be free… or maybe be an actor.” He smiled to himself and listened to Sehun laugh next to him and take his sketches back in his book. “I used to be an artist in California on the Santa Monica pier, sell my art pieces for 10 cents each.” Jongin’s eyes widened, “ten cents?” Sehun smiled, happy about that it seems and he didn’t quite get that Jongin found that a bit absurd but let Sehun go on. “Sometimes I’d make a dollar a day, great money. When it got cold though I went to Paris to see what real artists were up to.” 

Jongin looked off into the horizon for a moment, imagine a life like that where he could just head out to wherever he wanted and do whatever he pleased. A life without his father, his mother waiting back in America to anxiously meet Jennie, a life without Jennie as well. A life without the curtain of stress on his shoulders. A life he chose for himself. “I wish I could be like you, Sehun,” Jongin mumbled, turning back to look at the man who didn’t look too shocked to be hearing the sentence, a face that was void of judgment. “We’ll go to that pier together, even if it’s something we’ll just talk about it. Humor me for now.” Sehun chuckled at that, nodding, making Jongin smile since he did decide to humor him for now. 

“All right then, we’ll go to that pier and drink cheap beer, ride the rollercoasters until we throw up then go horseback riding right into the surf. You have to ride it like a cowboy, can’t afford those fancy saddles you got.” Sehun said through a laugh, making Jongin’s eyes widen, “bareback you mean? Would you teach me?” Sehun nodded, smiling and held his chin up with his hand. “If you’d like.” Jongin nodded, smiling to himself, “I think I would. And teach me how to spit like a cowboy too.” Sehun nodded, standing up and led them over to the railing by taking his hand, Jongin ignores the warmth in his chest. “They didn’t teach you that in your fancy schools? Here, like this.” 

He made a rather disgusting sound as he hawked up the spit, taking a big breath and Jongin watched as it arched and into the water at an impressive distance. “Your turn,” Sehun gestures to him, making Jongin’s face screw up. He knew he wasn’t doing it right when he didn’t make that appalling sound and he especially knew when a little foamy spittle weakly fell over the railing straight down into the water. “That was absolutely pitiful,” Sehun tsked, bracing himself for another one. “You gotta… hawk it up,” that disgusting noise featured, Jongin could see the spit on the tip of his tongue as he spoke with his constants slurring together, “then you roll it on the tip of your tongue like this, take a deep breath and!” Like that, another spit shot into the air with better range than the first one Jongin thinks. He giggled a little bit, “I got this I got this.” He hawked up a spit, rolling it on his tongue and took a deep breath before shooting it off into the water with a laugh. 

“That was it! That was good!” Sehun cheered, making Jongin cheer with him before turning to face him and nearly blanching at the sight of his father, Baekhyun, Jennie, and Yifan all watching them spitting into the ocean. Jongin instantly composed himself, nudging Sehun to turn around who wiped at his chin with his sleeve. It took him a little to avoid smiling. “Father, you remember Sehun. Um, Jennie and Mr. Byun, this is Sehun Oh.” Jennie was judging, didn’t even offer her hand and instead said with a faux polite smile, “charmed, I’m sure.” Baekhyun, on the other hand, was grinning making Jongin relax instantly. 

Jongin’s father cleared his throat, offering his most polite smile but Jongin could see right through it, he only hoped Sehun couldn’t see it. “It’ll be dinner time, so we’ll meet you in the parlor, Sehun.” He didn’t offer a bow, instead, he walked away and took Jongin’s wrist rather tightly, Jongin only heard Baekhyun offering Sehun a suit and it made him smile a little that maybe someone was on their side. Everyone was interested in the man who saved Jongin’s life, how he exudes such bravery but to Jongin’s father, Sehun was an insect. An insect that needed to be squished but Jongin wasn’t ready for something like that to happen. 

 

Jongin trailed behind his father and Jennie going down the grand first class staircase into the large area with a glass dome above showing into the night sky, chandelier hanging down with crystals. Jongin spot Sehun immediately, hair slicked back and styled with a fancy suit on that must’ve been Baekhyun’s since the ankle cut a little short but the black socks hid his ankles perfectly. A blush coat his cheeks as he approached Sehun, his father and Jennie simply nodding at him in acknowledgment. They must’ve not recognized him and yet, Sehun didn’t have the time to be amused as he only stared at Jongin. He had a fondness in his eyes, as if he were the most beautiful person Sehun had seen and that alone made him flush. 

Once Jongin approached Sehun, he did the gentleman stance with one arm behind his back and Jongin giggled quietly, offering his hand. Sehun took it gently, Jongin always wondered what this felt like and right now he felt like a prince, spoiled with affection, especially when he felt Sehun leave little kisses on the back of each of his fingers against his knuckles. Jongin’s beaming, it shows on his face and the smile on his lips. “I saw that in a theater show once, always have wanted to do it.” Jongin smiled once more and released Sehun’s hand, blush on his cheeks and his all as he turned to see his father and Jennie having a discussion at the bottom of the staircase. “Father, Jennie, I’m sure you remember Mr. Oh.” 

His father paused blinking before letting out a good-hearted laugh that somehow sounded condescending, “Mr. Oh! Didn’t even recognize you… you look like you could almost pass as a gentleman.” Jongin rolled his eyes once his father turned his back on them and sighed a little as they walked into the dining hall past the reception room. Sehun held out his arm for Jongin to take, making the tanner male smile and placed his hand on his bicep. “You never told me how old you are,” Jongin commented as they kept their distance from Jennie and his father. “20, and you?” Jongin smiled shyly, looking down at the ground, “18.” Sehun nodded, “a lot is expected of you from what I can see.” Jongin sighed a little and walked into the room, both of them keeping their chins held high. “It’s a bit tiring.” Before Sehun could get a word in, Baekhyun made his way over making both the men smile. 

“Not much to acting fancy is there, Sehun?” Sehun laughed a genuine one and shook his head down at the shorter man. “Doesn’t seem to be, you just dress like a pallbearer and keep your nose up.” Jongin snickered at that, watching Baekhyun’s smile radiate, Jongin liked Baekhyun, kind of wishes he was his father instead. “Remember, the only thing they respect is money so act like you have a lot of it and you’re in the club essentially.” Jongin offered Baekhyun a polite smile and a head bow, the shorter returned it and pat Sehun’s shoulder before going to greet another table. Jongin led him into the snake pit, watching the snakes intermingle and whisper to each other and laugh at whatever they decided to say. Jongin could easily pick the real laughs from the fake ones, the real ones were slim. 

“I suppose I should point out who you need to know, hm?” Sehun smiled at him, charming in a way Jongin wanted to capture onto his lips forever but he held back that urge, held back the butterflies and warmth flooding his cheeks and began to subtly point at people across the dining parlor. “That’s Countess Ross, then next to her is Jacob John Astor, the richest man on the ship. Next to him is his wife Madeline, my age and already pregnant. She’s been trying to hide it but everyone knows, it’s considered to be quite the scandal,” Jongin nodded towards another couple where Jongin’s father and Jennie stood, within earshot but Jongin kept his voice low. “Over there is Sir Cosmo and Lucile, Lady Duff Gordon. She designs very naughty lingerie among her many talents, very well acquainted with the Royals.” Sehun nodded, listening very attentively as if he cared for every single word Jongin had to say and it made a swell of pride fill his chest. 

Jongin heard from the earshot hearing as he continued to introduce people, he was sure Sehun could hear as well unless he was engrossed by what Jongin was saying. “Mr. Kim, your son is splendid.” Jongin’s father sounded so smug and proud, it disgusted Jongin since he knew it wasn’t because of genuine pride in his accomplishments, but that he raised an heir and they viewed him as the prize horse to be attained. “Thank you, isn’t he?” The man nodded, messing with the lapels of his suit. “Unfortunate that he’s spoken for by Jennie, that must’ve been a stroke of luck. My daughter would’ve suited Jongin much better.” It was disgusting to overhear, so Jongin ushered them over to a different part to run into the Astors, and Jongin was thankful the new distraction. “J.J, Madeline, I’d like you to meet Sehun Oh.” 

J.J smiled, extending his hand to shake, “Oh’s from Boston?” Sehun shook his head, “Oh’s from Glenwood Springs, Colorado, actually.” Jongin held back his giggle when J.J acted as if he knew who they were, a puzzled expression on his face. Madeline gently pulled Jongin aside, giggling as she looked up at him, “pity we’re both spoken for, isn’t it?” Jongin blushed at that and he looked at Sehun who was talking to J.J, nodding his head before he could stop himself. 

They made their way to their dining tables, Sehun next to Jongin while Jennie sat to his other side, Jongin’s father next to Sehun. Baekhyun was at the table as well as the Astors, the Countess, Yixing, and the man who treated Jongin as if he were a prize horse with his daughter by his side. Jongin admired Sehun, he may have been nervous but he never faltered. Jongin knew they thought Sehun was one of them, new money, an upcoming business tycoon, a young captain of industry perhaps and as much as Jongin liked that Sehun could fit in, he didn’t want him to. He wanted Sehun to be himself, it’s why Jongin liked to be with him since he got to be free. Although, Jongin’s father could be counted on to make it known that Sehun isn’t one of them even without Jongin’s subtle hand motion for Sehun to remove the napkin off his plate and onto his lap. 

“Tell us the accommodations of the steerage, Mr. Oh. I hear they’re quite good on this ship, but then again what isn’t?” His voice was condescending, snotty even but managed to get it out with just the right tone to make it sound like a genuine question. Sehun, however, took the question in stride, turning to look over at his father that sat to his right with a bright smile on his lips. “Best I’ve seen, sir. Hardly any rats.” Jongin’s father’s smile tightened, it was a bit of a competition to get Sehun to crack, but Jongin noticed he wasn’t going to falter. “Mr. Oh is joining us from third class tonight,” Jongin’s father announced to the table, “he saved my son from a little bit of an incident last night.” Jongin noticed the table whispering to one another at that, but Sehun looked calm, cool, collected. 

A plate was set in front of them, Jongin’s father leaning over to him and spoke to him as if he were a child, “this is foie gras. It’s goose liver.” Sehun politely bowed his head and the waiter stopped in front of Sehun, “how do you take your caviar, sir?” Jongin’s father piped up for him, smile too sweet and Jongin wanted to wipe it right off his face as he felt his body start to heat with anger at the treatment Sehun was getting. “Just a soupcon of lemon, it helps improve the flavor of champagne.” Sehun raised his hand, pokerfaced but he didn’t falter, it made Jongin smile and keep his eyes locked on just him as if no one else were in the room. “Actually, no caviar for me, never really have been a fan,” Jongin ordered the same and the waiters nodded, soon coming out with the salad. Sehun went to pick it up with the fish fork which sat directly in the middle, making Jongin lightly swat at his thigh, prompting to the fork on the outside for the salad. He changed the forks as Jongin’s father continued the unneeded show for the table of exploiting Sehun.

“Where exactly do you live, Mr. Oh?” Sehun was going to stab into his salad and ended up having to speak. “Right now, my address is Titanic and then after that, wherever the wind takes me.” Jongin’s father hummed, “you find that sort of rootless existence appealing, do you?” Sehun nodded while the rest of the table munched on their salads. “Well, it’s a big world, I want to see it all before I go. My father was always talking about going to see the ocean and he died before he ever could. You can’t wait around because you never know what hand you’re going to be dealt in life. My family died in a fire when I was fifteen and I’ve been on the road ever since. Something like that teaches you to take life as it comes, make each day count.” 

Baekhyun raised his glass in salute to that, grinning, “well said, Sehun.” The rest of the table lifted their glasses, Jongin’s father annoyed that Sehun scored the point and Jongin raised his glass as well. Smile soft, eyes fond, looking at Sehun with all the respect and admiration in the world. “To making it count.” Jongin’s father wanted to push him, pressuring him now to break and lose. “How do you have this means of travel in the first place?” Sehun finally stabbed into the salad and took a bite, speaking after. “I work my way place to place, sometimes it’s a stroke of luck. I won my ticket on this ship in a game of poker,” he looked to Jongin, “a very lucky hand.” Jongin flushed at the subtle flirt and the Countess smiled. “Life is truly a game of luck.” Jennie sighed from beside Jongin who mainly kept her mouth shut, but she seemed to pick up on his father’s game. “A real man makes his own luck.” 

Dinner went quiet after that, Yixing talking about the ship he built and the people enthusing him, Jongin piping up here and there and after desserts, Jongin leaned over to Sehun in a low tone, “next it’ll be brandy with cigars in the smoking room.” The men stood from the table, making Sehun stand with Jongin as well. “I never go, I always go walk around the boat. I’d rather not peacock with them.” Jongin’s father smiled, “joining us Sehun?” Sehun shook his head, “no thanks. I’ll be heading back now.” Jongin wished his smile didn’t falter and Jongin’s father clamped his hand on his shoulder, “probably for the best. All we talk about is money and politics, things that couldn’t possibly interest you. Good of you to come though.” The men left the room and Sehun turned to face Jongin, hand taking his own as he slipped a note into his palm that made Jongin’s eyes widened. “I’ll be seeing you, Jongin.” 

Jongin smiled as he walked off and sat down, opening the note to see ‘meet me under the clock for a better night than this one.’ He was grinning, missing Jennie’s scowl over his shoulder and stood up now, bowing respectfully before making his way down the stairs and out to the clock with a smile on his face. His cheeks starting to hurt from how wide he was smiling. He felt free with Sehun, happy and made it up to the foyer where Sehun stood, hand extended. “Wanna go to a real party?” Jongin grinned, slipping his hand in his own and this time their fingers interlaced. “Love to.” 

 

The third class general room was alive, people dancing and cheering with beer thudding on the wooden tables, men arm wrestling one another. Sehun had taken off his suit jacket long ago and hung it on the chair next to Jongin as he watched Sehun dance with one of the children. Jongin had never seen something so alive, so full of life, so many people having a good time without the need to posture and be posh with one another. Jongin even took a quart of the dark colored beer and drank some of it, smiling as he gathered his courage to stand up. Despite only knowing the elegant dances, he went over to Sehun and looked at the child. “Mind if I cut in?” The girl shook her head and Sehun smiled, one of their hands were held by their shoulders and fingers laced together with his other hand on the small of his waist. Jongin was shaky, placed his hand on his shoulder with his fingers creeping more towards the back of his neck. “I’m afraid I don’t really know this dance.” Sehun smiled, leading them and it was a bit awkward at first with the slower music until Jongin let himself follow in the lead. “I got it taken care of. Just move with me, don’t think.”

The music started to pick up making them all go around the room with Jongin’s laughs filling the air. Sehun looked on at him in awe, hearing each individual ‘ha’ of his laugh when his head tilt back and his eyes were fluttered shut. Jongin hadn’t ever felt this good, this exhilarated in a long time, this laugh is something he hasn’t done in so long and he was afraid he’d never get the opportunity to do it ever again. The song slowed down, Sehun spinning Jongin out and pulled him flush to his chest, noses nearly touching as they laughed and looked each other in the eyes. It was a moment of clarification for Jongin, the reason why he felt that black tar with Jennie is because he wasn’t attracted to her. He wasn’t attracted to women, he never fancied dating girls and would find men more attractive. Here, with Sehun, as he looked him in the eyes he wanted to give him his first kiss, his first love, his first everything if the man had asked him to. 

They pulled back though when they got bumped into during the start of the new song, making way over to the table where Minseok sat and pulled out two of the dark beers on the table away from the arm wrestling men. Sehun took a sip while Jongin started to chug his, laughing at the surprised expression Sehun gave him. “What? You think a first class boy can’t hold his beer?” Jongin set the beer down, spinning until slipping a little and pressing into Sehun’s chest, making Sehun catch him and laugh as he looked down at him, faces only a few inches away from one another. Jongin and Sehun missed Yifan peeking in, checking to see where Jongin is and caught the two before shutting the door to retreat while Jongin’s laugh echoed in the third class party, all he could see was Sehun’s eyes staring into his. 

Jongin didn’t remember how they decided to leave the party and make it onto the upper deck, leaning against the railing as they sang a song from the party below as they looked up at the stars, laughing together and leaned against one another. Jongin’s laugh calmed as he watched all of the stars above, some twinkling, some seeming to dance in the sky. “Isn’t it beautiful?” Sehun stood next to him, arms touching underneath the thin suit jackets and smiled up at the sky above them. Jongin turned to look over at him, sighing out softly. “They’re so small minded, Sehun. My people. They think they’re so big and powerful, giants on this earth but really they’re like the tiny bubbles floating in champagne in the grand scale of the universe.” 

Sehun’s hand touched Jongin’s, their pinky and ring fingers hooking onto one another and instead of looking at the stars, their eyes were locked on their fingers. “You’re not one of them, there’s been a mistake.” Jongin laughed, loud, vibrant, each ‘ha’ echoing into the air. Sehun looked as if he’d never get tired of hearing that sound and it made his cheeks flush. “A mistake?” Sehun laughed as well, his laugh was loud, messy, noisy but Jongin could bask in it forever given the chance. “Of course, you got shipped to the wrong address.” Jongin giggled softly, “I did, didn’t I?” looking back up to the stars and moved his free hand up to point. “Look! Shooting star!” It was a long star that trekked through the sky leaving behind a trail, leaving Sehun to mumble. “My father used to say it was a soul going up to heaven.”

Jongin turned to look over at him, realizing Sehun was moving closer to him. “As much as I like that, aren’t we supposed to wish on them?” Their faces were inches apart, it would be so easy for them to kiss right now and judging by how Sehun looks down at his lips he feels the same. Jongin’s glad that the chemistry between them isn’t one-sided, it’s mutual, and it makes his heart thump in his chest. “What would you wish for?” The energy between them shifted, making Jongin step back after a beat. “Something that I can’t have… Goodnight, Sehun.” He smiled sadly, pulling his fingers away and made his way into the first class doors, ignoring his pleas to come back as he kept his head down on the ground to walk back towards his suite. 

 

Jongin woke the next day deciding to dress down a bit, wearing a white short sleeve silk button down,with the top two buttons undone and beige slacks stopping at his waist. His dress shoes were polished on his feet as he messed his hands through his hair. “I was hoping you’d find Jennie last night, or at least check in with me.” His father started, Jongin looking at him from the mirror. “I was tired.” Jongin turned the chair around to meet his father’s eyes who looked more than displeased. “I believe you would be, given the activities you participated in below the decks last night.” 

Jongin stiffened, looking up at him as his hands gripped the arms of the vanity chair and stared up at him. “I see you had your pathetic manservant follow me then, did you?” Jongin’s father challenged his gaze, voice louder before as he started to shake a bit, messing up his up kept black hair in front of his eyes that was starting to grey. “You will never behave like that again! Do you understand me, Jongin Kim?” Jongin was furious at the way his father talked to him, trying to control him as if he truly was a horse he owned. “I’m not one of your foremen that you can command in any given time I’m your son-“

Jongin’s father went over to vanity, knocking everything down from it and let the glass fall to the floor. Jongin had tears in his eyes as his father gripped his biceps hard, the feeling of his thumbs was bruising into his skin, nails digging into to leave marks. It burned, his father close to his face as he glowered, holding onto his arms tightly that it felt like his skin was searing in pain. “Yes! You are! You’re my son and you have obligations to your fiancé, Jennie. You can’t be galavanting with a man, you can’t kiss a man, you can’t have these tendencies! You have to uphold your obligations, is that understood? Do you understand what’s expected of you, Jongin?” Jongin refused to meet his eyes as the tears started to spill down his face, leaving Jongin to shake in the chair as the maid came in and quietly cleaned up around him. 

It took him an hour or so to calm down, having to change the shirt to a long sleeve one, helping Jennie with her corset instead of the maid per her request. “You are not to see that boy ever again, do you understand?” Her voice was light but fury was hidden behind her voice. “Stop, you’ll give yourself a nosebleed.” Jennie exhaled out heavily, pulling away from Jongin and moved her way over to the door to slam it and lock it. “This isn’t a game, Jongin! You need me just as much as I need you!” Jongin sighed now, looking Jennie in the eyes. “I know that my father reminds me every single day. Why do you even bother with this? You don’t love me either.” He sees the hurt reflect in her eyes, not because she does love him, but because he speaks the truth. Jennie turns around and Jongin grabs the corset strings again. 

“I don’t understand why that should matter to you. We both suit well together, our families both need the money.” Jongin tied the last corset string into a neat bow and dropped his hands. “Don’t you think this is a lot to put onto our shoulders, Jennie?” The woman turned around, looking up at him. “It is but I don’t want to be working as a seamstress. I don’t want to have our things sold at an auction. We’re the children, we always get stuck with the brunt.” She whispered, stepping away from him to slip on her dress for the church service of the afternoon. 

The church service went by, walking out with Yixing by his side and started to count the boats with his father and Jennie trailing in front. “Pardon me, Mr. Zhang, but I noticed that there are only enough boats for half the people on the ship.” Yixing looked at him, impressed and laughed quietly. “Can’t get a thing past you now, can I Jongin? You’re right. They claimed that all the boats would um, clutter the deck.” His father laughed from up front, dragging Yixing forward while Jongin felt a hand curl around his wrist and pull him into another room, going silently after noticing it was Sehun.

“Sehun! What’re you doing here? You can’t be up here I can’t see you.” Jongin rambled, nervous but more happy to see him despite everything he had gone through in the morning. “Jongin, you’re no picnic. In fact, you’re a spoiled little brat but beneath all of that is a strong pure heart belonging to the most amazing man I’ve ever gotten the pleasure to know. I have nothing to offer you, Jongin. I’m a wanderer with no real address but if you stay living this life… I’m too involved now, and I can’t turn away without knowing you’ll be all right. You jump, I jump.” Jongin felt the tears start to well in his eyes with how open and real he was being unlike anyone else he had ever known, but he looked down at the ground as he fought the urge to lean into his chest. “You’re making this quite hard, I’ll be fine, really.”

Sehun shook his head, sighing out quietly. “I don’t think so. You have this roaring fire in you that’s begging to be released and burn into the sky, but they keep putting you out with water and towels. Sooner or later, they’ll get what they want and that fire will burn out.” Jongin knew it was true but he thought about his father, and what Jennie said, and with that, his hands placed on Sehun’s forearms to give them one last squeeze as he treasured the warmth of his skin. “It’s not up to you to save me, Sehun.” Sehun nodded, “you’re right. It’s up to you to do that.” Jongin, blinking back the tears in his eyes, looked up at him and whispered, “then for your sake and mine, leave me alone.” Jongin walked out and this time, he didn’t look back since it would cause him pain if he did. 

Jongin droned out sitting in the tea parlor, Jennie discussing bridesmaid dresses with Madeline and his father talking about how his mother would prefer the wedding invitations to be printed. He didn’t pay attention to a single word, or the way Jennie would tug on Jongin’s sleeve for a pinch into the conversation and focused in on a young first class boy with his own father at tea time. He sat, holding the teacup in proper etiquette and sipped at it with his pinky raised before moving over to the scone to take the daintiest bite. Jongin saw himself in that boy, watching his own childhood unveil in front of his eyes and he saw the pain of becoming who he is now unfolding. Jongin’s eyes looked down to his teacup, knocking his hand against it and spilled it on his lap. “Oh! My, look at my clumsiness! I’ll be back, I’ll just need a fresh change.” 

 

Jongin walked out to the bow of the ship, Sehun’s messy longer black hair pushed back away from his face as the wind made his clothes ruffle. Jongin kept the same outfit on, not seeing the need to change since he knew Sehun wouldn’t judge a stain. “Hi, Sehun.” He started, seeing Sehun turn around to look at him in a bit of state of shock. “I changed my mind… Minseok told me I might find you here.” Sehun shook his head and extended his hand, wiggling his fingers a bit and Jongin easily slipped his hand into Sehun’s. “Close your eyes,” Sehun mumbled right against his ear, making him blush but close his eyes nonetheless. Sehun’s hands dropped from his hands down to his waist, “move forward a little bit,” Sehun was behind Jongin now, he can tell by his voice in his ear. 

Jongin walked forward some until Sehun’s hands lightly squeezed at his waist, “step up.” Jongin felt the railing of the ship beneath the soles of his feet, Sehun’s warm chest pressed against his back and soon his hands moved to outstretch Jongin’s arms like wings, hands back on his waist. “Open them.” Jongin opened his eyes to see the ocean in front of him full ahead in the dusk sky, almost like nothing was underneath him at all and the ship didn’t exist if he couldn’t feel the railing against the soles of his shoes. “Sehun! I’m flying!” Sehun chuckled quietly and rest his chin on his shoulder, letting his hands roam along his sides and up to his arms, tracing them slowly. Jongin’s eyes turned away from the water to turn to face Sehun, nose against his cheek while he felt their fingers grip one another and lace together like how they were meant to be. They fit one another like missing puzzle pieces, lock and key had been reunited. 

They held hands for a short moment as Jongin’s half-lidded eyes met Sehun’s own that were already gazing into his. Gone was that sticky black tar feeling and here there was nothing but warmth, fondness, butterflies circling his stomach and his heart could fall out of his chest by how fast it was beating. Jongin’s hands moved away only to turn his body more against Sehun’s, hands cupping his cheeks until their lips met in a gentle kiss at first. The simple press of lips made fireworks explode in his mind until their lips moved slowly together increasing in passion and this is what Jongin knew he was missing, this love, this feeling, this everything is what he needed, Sehun’s lips against his own is a feeling he’d never forget, a feeling he’d always hold onto forever. Jongin only pulled back from his lips barely, whispering against them, “come into my suite, I have something I’d like you to do for me.” 

They got off the railing of the bow, running through the boat until they reached Jongin’s suite, breathless from the running and laughing. Jongin let go of his hand and locked the door to the suite, moving over to the lounge area and locked the surrounding doors around them. “Is this lighting okay? Artists need good lighting right?” Jongin asked shyly, Sehun laughing as he took a seat on one of the luxury sofas. “That is correct but I’ve never worked in such horrible conditions,” he gestures to the room making Jongin laugh quietly until he sees Sehun get up with a grin on his lips. “A Monet… wow, it’s beautiful. His usage of color is so beautiful, I’ve only gotten to glimpse this painting through a hole in the wall in a museum.” Jongin smiled, “My father insists on bringing that thing everywhere with him.” Sehun’s eyebrows raised as he watched Jongin go into the closet and come out in a few more moments wearing a longer jacket that covered down to his ankles, tied around his waist, bare feet making his way to the safe. 

“Should I be expecting him or Jennie?” Jongin shook his head, “as long as Jennie talks to Madeline and cigars and brandy hold out, we should be fine.” Jongin unlocked the safe to pull out the necklace designated for Jennie, opening the velvet box to reveal it to Sehun. “Is that sapphire?” He asks, Jongin shaking his head as he stepped over to the mirror and put it on. “Very rare diamond, it’s called the heart of the ocean. Sehun, I want you to draw me like one of your french boys wearing this. Wearing only this.” Sehun’s eyes widened, but he nodded and started to pull out his sketchbook and supplies much like a surgeon would do his own materials. 

Jongin waited patiently for him to be ready as he fluffed his hair the right way, then grabbed a dime and stepped in front of Sehun. “The last thing I want is to be drawn like I’m another porcelain doll, and as a paying customer I expect to get what I want.” Jongin smiles teasingly, putting the dime in the palm of his hands as Sehun used to experience making him chuckle a bit and nod. Jongin untied the jacket, shrugging it off his shoulders and onto the floor, heart pounding in his chest as he watched Sehun look up at him in such an awestruck way. Eyes in awe of him, lips parted in awe and he cleared his throat and pointed to the couch, “um, yes the um, sofa. Please, if you may.” Jongin moved over to the red sofa, heart pounding in his chest distracting from how heavy the necklace felt against his chest. “Tell me when it looks right to you.” Jongin put his arms bent above his head, turning some on his side and Sehun smiled, “eyes to me… that’s it.” 

Jongin kept his eyes on Sehun as he started to do an outline, spotting the light pink blush on his cheek as the pencil dropped a bit from his hands. He had to stifle a laugh, voice kind as he went onto tease him, “I believe you’re blushing, Mr. Oh. I’m sure Monet wouldn’t be blushing.” Sehun had a little sweat form above his eyebrow, “he draws landscapes, not a beauty like you.” Jongin’s sure to blush at that and he had to train his face to relax. Despite being nervous, Sehun draws in sure strokes and meets his eyes in each gaze Sehun did up to him. Despite neither of them touching one another, it had been the most erotic moment of Jongin’s life and he felt so incredibly flustered to be laying naked in front of Sehun, to be his muse. It took a little over three hours for Sehun to draw, the artist ever professional once he was finished and Jongin got up from the sofa and slung on the jacket, making his way to look at it. 

He was in shock, he didn’t look like a porcelain doll but rather he looked like himself, Sehun saw into his soul and depicted him into the man he always wanted to be. Beautiful, genuinely beautiful and not for his elegance or poise, money even, but for who he is. “Date it, Sehun. I want to forever remember this night.” Sehun did, April 14, 1912, at the bottom corner and Jongin took the necklace off to put it in the box, starting on a note on stationary and took it both to the safe. “Stay put I’ll just need to get changed.” Sehun nodded, admiring Jongin which made him flush and he went back to change, coming out in casual slacks and shirt. 

He heard the door click to the main entrance, “Jongin? Hello?” Jongin looked at Sehun wide-eyed to hear Yifan’s voice, taking his hand to scurry into the bedrooms as they had to stifle their laughter. Once they were hiding in the bedroom, Jongin listened to hear the click going to his room and they made their escape through the front door, going out to the stateroom and towards the foyer. Jongin looks back and sees Yifan making his way out of the room, squeezing Sehun’s hand and through a laugh, he yells to run. 

Sehun and Jongin ran through the entire boat, hands intertwined as they laughed and did little squeals, shocking a few of the first class citizens but Jongin couldn’t care, not when his laugh was loud and proud with Sehun’s combined. They made their way to the elevator, jumping in quickly and slammed the gated door with Jongin looking at him with wide eyes, “take us down quickly! Quickly!” The shocked elevator struggles to comply but manages before Yifan could open the gates, glaring through at the both of them and Jongin lifts his hand to flash the middle finger making Sehun laugh and squeeze Jongin’s hand harder as the operator gapes at his behavior. “Take us the furthest you can please!” Jongin asked, and the operator nodded as he took them down to the F-Deck, hopping out of the lift to try a few doors until stumbling into the fan corridor as they laughed loudly. 

“Pretty tough for a valet this guy is,” Sehun commented through a laugh, making Jongin laugh more, running a hand through his hair that started to soak with sweat against his forehead. “He’s an ex-Pinkerton. Father hired him to keep everything pristine since he almost got into some trouble with the law.” “Kind of like us- uh oh.” Jongin saw Yifan across, starting to charge making him take Sehun’s hand and the both darted with Sehun leading. “Run run run!” Jongin laughed as he shrieked, Sehun pushing open a door marked for the crew but he didn’t care, and neither did Jongin. They’d do anything to be together with one another for longer tonight. Sehun quickly whipped around once they made it into the room, latching the deadbolt on the door with no way out beside a ladder leading to the boiler room. Sehun grins down at it, pointing to see Jongin nodding and bowed, gesturing to the ladder. “After you my darling,” Jongin smiled, kissing his cheek before starting the careful trek down to the orange boiler room. 

It looked like hell itself, burning coal surrounding them with sweaty greasy men around them. Roaring furnaces as black shadows cast against the walls from the machinery and workers, ignoring the men yelling at them they couldn’t be in here. Sehun and Jongin laughed, sweat matting their hair against their foreheads and laced their fingers once more as they started the run across the boiler room. “Don’t mind us!” Sehun called out to the workers who looked on in blatant confusion, laughter echoing, their footsteps were muted in their laugh and furnaces roaring around them but they made it around to the other side against a white door that Jongin had his back pressed against. Sehun held his face, not caring that it was sweaty and sticky, Jongin found he couldn’t care either as he brought his hands on the back of his neck and fingers grazing over his wet skin. They let out little laughs against their lips before kissing one another with passion, Jongin didn’t mind the saltiness of his sweat as he kept Sehun close to him. 

Sehun’s hand scrambled the latch of the white door, pushing it open and kept one arm around Jongin as he kissed him into the room, lips moving against one another a bit messily through the smiles on their lips. They only pulled away to see what they were in, laughing as they found the cargo hold and pulled away from each other to hold hands. They walked around until they found themselves in the center of it where the brand new touring car sat in the middle, black in color and sleek. Jongin giggled, walking over to it and opened the door to reveal the burgundy velvet seats in the front while Sehun climbed in the coach. Jongin shut the door and leaned up to the partition to rest his head against Sehun’s shoulder. “Where to, sir?” 

Jongin looked him overseeing the sweat glistening on his skin beneath the lights, kissing behind his ear. “Wherever you are.” At that, Jongin moved to hook his arms beneath Sehun’s and pull him into the seats with him, both of them giggling as they looked at one another after Jongin shut the glass partition. Sehun’s breathing seemed louder than before, the car a bit darker, both of them smiling until Sehun whispers, “are you nervous?” Jongin shook his head, leaning up to kiss him softly as he whispered against his lips, “how could I be nervous with you? Touch me, Sehun.” Sehun kissed Jongin softly, eyes fluttered closed as Jongin sank into the seat for Sehun to straddle over him, to accept the welcoming weight pressing on top of him. His hands were smooth over the clothes and only touched along his sides before moving down to his thighs. Their lips moved smoothly against one another and Sehun’s tongue lightly brushed along his lower lip. 

Jongin’s lips parted with ease, accepting his tongue and shyly let his tongue meet his before letting Sehun take the lead in the kiss. He explored in Jongin’s mouth, fingers moving to unbutton the shirt on his body to free the tan skin that was covered in sweat but glistened nonetheless. Jongin pulled back from the kiss with eyes half-lidded as he stared up at him, breath a little shaky and let his shirt slip off his shoulders. His own fingers busied to take off Sehun’s shirt, slipping down the suspenders on his shoulders, both looking at each other shirtless. Jongin took the time to let his fingertips roam against the soft skin, while Sehun’s own hands ran along his chest. They were so soft, a bit roughened from work but they were gentle. 

They didn’t need to ruin the moment by asking the obvious of if they wanted one another since they saw it in their faces. Jongin though prompted him with a nod which led Sehun down to kiss him once more and it wasn’t as soft, but it deeper and held more passion than the first. Their lips moved together in time, fluid and smooth as Sehun’s hands moved to unbutton Jongin’s slacks and slipped them off his body. Jongin obliged that by lifting his legs, only leaving his briefs that Sehun pulled back to remove. Jongin’s fingers swiftly unbuttoned Sehun’s pants, sliding them off and looked at each other as their breathing got a bit heavier from the closed space of the car and the excited nerves they felt in their body from doing this in the first place. 

Sehun’s tongue grazed over his nipple, making the first breathy sound break the quiet of the car. His other hand moved to gently tweak it between his fingers leaving Jongin to lean his head back against the seat, Sehun smiling against his skin. “Even your sounds are beautiful,” he commented and pulled back to kiss down his chest before pulling back to take his fingers into his mouth. Jongin blushed prettily at that, cheeks down to his chest in a wash of pretty cherry blossom pink. “You’re trembling,” he noted as he watched Sehun tremble, removing his fingers from his mouth and rubbed over his rim slowly before pushing in. Jongin let a little whimper out as he pushed in slow, adjusting to the foreign feeling of having something in him. “It’s normal, it’s okay,” Sehun whispered, working his finger in until it went all the way in and slowly pulled it out to start slow thrusts into him. 

Jongin watched the way his hair fell in front of his face as the soft sounds continued in the car and Jongin’s eyes fluttered once he had adjusted to the feeling, letting his legs fall to the sides trapped in between the velvet seat and the hard platform for the glass partition. Jongin didn’t know if it was hours or minutes until he felt Sehun’s lips meet his again, a second finger thrusting into him making a moan break into Sehun’s mouth as his eyes opened. Parted lips against Sehun’s mouth as he pants a bit against it, feeling the bends of his fingers. Sehun’s eyes on his own and Jongin’s fingers moved to grip the strands of Sehun’s hair, moaning out softly against his lips. 

Sehun worked him open diligently, making Jongin whimper out softly, needily against his lips but he mastered patience since Sehun knew what he was doing. A third finger pushed into him making his head lull back against the seat, Sehun’s lips kissing softly against his neck and dragged his tongue slowly over the column of his throat. Jongin moaned out Sehun’s name softly as he tugged on the strands of hair a bit harder, Sehun getting the hint and pulled his fingers out after a few more thrusts and curls at the knuckles to make sure Jongin would be properly stretched. 

The moment was so intimate as Sehun and Jongin met each other’s eyes when Sehun pushed into him slowly. Jongin whimpering out loudly at that and tilt his head back once more with his chest arched. His hand held onto the strands of his hair tighter, Sehun’s lower pitched moans filling the car and kept in still in Jongin. “Tell me when you’re ready,” his voice sound strained but his eyes were filled with love. Jongin wonders if he looks at Sehun the same way. “Move, please…” he whispered, voice trailing off. Sehun pulled his hips back and thrust into him slowly, deep, making Jongin’s legs wrap around his waist with soft moans pouring from his lips. Jongin leaned up to kiss him and held his face in his hands as their sounds muffled into their kiss, lips moving against one another slow as he felt the love pouring into the kiss. 

Sehun got a steady rhythm of the deep thrusts, changing the angle to hit right against his prostate making him moan out louder, one hand moving away from his hair to thud against the glass window that was steamed. Their moans filled the car, kisses muffling it every now and then and Jongin dragged his hand down against the window to move to rest on Sehun’s back. Jongin could’ve sworn time blurred together for them then, he could’ve sworn that he had been underneath for Sehun for hours feeling nothing but the intense pleasure to the point that his thighs were shaking and nails dragged down Sehun’s back. It all came to end too soon when he whined out, back arched and released against his chest with Sehun thrusting in one final time to release into him. 

They panted, looking into each other’s eyes as Jongin’s hands shakily held Sehun’s face as if to make sure he was real. Right there in front of him. They didn’t need to speak, saying I love you in a moment like this would be cheap and cliche, staring at one another with all the love pouring from their eyes and giving themselves to one another was a declaration of love enough.

 

“Sir, I lost him and the boy on the F-Deck,” Yifan reported to Jongin’s father who paced angrily in the room. He paced his way over to the safe and unlocked it, checking if everything was in it to find two new pieces of paper sat atop, pulling out the stationary. ‘Now you can keep me locked in your safe forever.’ He looked at the drawing, livid he almost tore it but took a deep frustrated angry exhale, setting the paper down back in the safe and grabbed the velvet box opening it to reveal the necklace. “I have a better idea than finding him.” 

 

Jongin and Sehun laughed as they ran their way back up to the deck near the bow, laughing so hard they could barely breathe and fully dressed. Jongin looked at Sehun, arms around his neck and nudged his nose over his. “When this ship docks, I’m getting off this boat with you.” Sehun laughed but he was happy, he didn’t think the idea was stupid but he was glowing, actually. “This is crazy, Jongin.” Jongin giggled quietly, “it is crazy, makes no sense, and that’s why I’m listening to it.” Sehun smiled down at him before kissing him fiercely, holding Jongin by his waist and ignored the muted yelling of above for the captains to pick up their phones. They only broke the kiss off to feel the shake of the boat beneath their feet and a loud thud fall next to them. 

Jongin stayed against Sehun and looked up in astonishment as they passed the large iceberg, both jumping back to avoid a chunk of ice from the ice. Jongin looked at Sehun with wide eyes who met his with an expression of his own, waiting patiently for the iceberg to pass and they walked over to the railing to try and peer into the water. “Looks okay, I can’t really see anything.” Sehun commented, Jongin looked over at him, “do you think it damaged the ship?” Sehun scratched the back of his neck, shaking his head a little. “It didn’t seem like that much of a bump I’m sure we’re okay.” Their breath fogged in the night as they spoke, Jongin watched the men behind them play with chunks of the ice who came out to see the commotion. He didn’t believe it and took Sehun’s hand. “Let’s find Mr. Zhang, he’ll be sure to know.” Sehun nodded, following Jongin throughout the ship to find the builder himself. They paced their way through the decks, going up near the captain’s quarters and hid behind a wall, listening to the captains speak. “The lower decks are already filling up with water, the emergency doors are closed… some of the steerage is experiencing water.” Jongin had to hold back his gasp, turning to look over at Sehun who whispered: “it’s bad.” Jongin nodded, “we’ll have to tell my father and Jennie.” Sehun sighed, “it got worse.” Jongin smiled, kissing him softly and nudged his nose over his. “It’ll be okay, you jump I jump, right?” Sehun nodded, squeezing his hand. “Right.”

 

Jongin and Sehun paced across the foyer hand in hand, meeting Yifan who seemed to be seemingly waiting for them as they entered the hallway that approached the suite. “We’ve been looking for you, Mr. Kim,” Jongin and Sehun both rolled their eyes at that but missed Yifan slipping the heart of the ocean into Sehun’s pocket with everyone gathered around. The police officer of the ship stood with arms crossed, a tense silence filled the room but Jongin would be the first to slice into it. “Something bad has happened,” Jongin’s father rolled his eyes and scoffed in a way to convey utter offense. “You’re right, something has happened. Two things I consider dear to me have disappeared. Now that my son is back, I believe the other item can be found next to him. Check for the necklace.” 

The police officer lifted Sehun’s arms, making Sehun scoff, “this is bullshit.” Jongin nodded in agreement, “you can’t be serious right now. We’re in an actual serious situation and you want to accuse Sehun of stealing a necklace?” The officer pulled the necklace out of his pocket, leaving the two men shocked and stunned, considering Jongin was the one who put it away, not Sehun. “Is this what you’re looking for?” Jongin blinked a few times, “he couldn’t have. I put it away.” Jongin’s father crossed his arms over his chest, “he must’ve watched you open the safe and memorized the combination.” Jongin shook his head, watching Sehun blink in confusion. “Don’t believe that horse shit, Jongin, you know I didn’t do that!” Jongin looked to his father, “that doesn’t make sense I was with him the entire time!” 

Jongin’s father gripped his wrist, jerking him forward and murmured low into his ear, “maybe he did it while you were putting your clothes back on.” The officer handed Jongin’s father the necklace, the man sliding it into his coat and Jongin turned to look at Sehun. “You didn’t, you didn’t.” Sehun shook his head, pointing over at Yifan, “he must’ve put into my pocket as we were walking in the room. Please Jongin, why would I take that?” Jongin’s father scoffed once more, “why wouldn’t you? Pawn it off for a fortune.” Jongin shook his head, ignoring the little flash in his mind of Sehun watching him as he opened the safe from the reflection of the mirror. Jongin put it away, not Sehun, Jongin put away the necklace with the drawing on top. 

“Regardless, lock him away, there is no definitive proof of him not doing it.” Jongin shook his head and he felt the harsh grip his father had on his bicep, nails digging into his skin. He was scared, he saw the anger in his eyes, how he knew he’d pay for this whole thing he did later on. “Cuff him,” Yifan commented and the officer did exactly that. Jongin looked over at him, tears welling in his eyes, but Sehun gave a nod of understanding even if he did have an expression of rage at the way Jongin was being handled. The cuffs clinked onto Sehun’s wrists and Yifan followed the officer out of the room, leaving Jennie to clear her throat quietly. “I should go get changed.” 

With that, she exited the room, knowing Jongin was going to be in trouble and the door clicked shut. Jongin’s father turned him around, watching him coldly before lifting his hand to slap him harshly across the face. It hurt, stung, but he could only have the mental image of Sehun being carried out of the room to be held God knows where when the ship was filling with water. How’s he to know if he can see him again when his father has a grip on him like this? “That was whorish of you, wasn’t it?” Jongin remained silent, not even looking at his father and kept his eyes on the ground. “Answer me when I’m talking to you, give me the respect that I deserve from you, Jongin Kim!” He held Jongin’s bicep harder making his face distort in discomfort but the knock on the door and it opens to a steward made his father lighten his grip. “My apologies for intruding, but I was told to inform you to put your life vests on. Captain’s orders. Please dress warmly, it’s quite cold tonight.” 

The steward stepped in the room with three life vests, handing two to Jongin’s father and the last one to Jongin. “Not to worry, I’m sure it’s just a precaution.” Jongin knew it wasn’t just a precaution, but he nodded and smiled politely as he put on the vest. “This is ridiculous, Jennie!” His father called, and when he stepped away he finally had the chance to breathe. Jennie came out and put on her vest, leaving Jongin’s father without his on and the three of them made their way out of the room towards the foyer where the first class guests stood. Baekhyun had his own life vest on, looking confused as ever. Jongin’s father rolled his eyes, “the god damned English have to do everything by the book don’t they?” Jennie looked at Jongin’s father, “no need for the foul language.” Jongin almost rolled his eyes until he spots Yixing in the foyer, pale as a ghost and scared as scared could be. 

Jongin pushed through the crowd, his father and Jennie on his heels and he knew they weren’t going to let him out of their sight after his little rendezvous with Sehun. “Mr. Zhang,” he started, capturing the attention of Yixing. “I saw the iceberg, and I see the fear in your eyes. So please, be honest with me.” Yixing took a hesitant breath, looking at Jongin, his father and Jennie before back to Jongin. “The ship will sink.” Jongin’s eyes widened and his heart sunk deep in his stomach. “You’re certain?” Yixing nodded, fingers nervously playing with one another. “Yes, in an hour or so this will all be at the bottom of the Atlantic. Please tell who you must, I do not want a panic. Get to a boat as soon as you can, remember what we discussed about that?” Jongin nodded, “I remember… thank you.” Yixing bowed before scurrying off to calmly tell people to put on vests. 

Jongin turned around to meet the shocked expressions of his father and Jennie. Jongin heard one of the seamen yell in the distance ‘now loading women and children!’ in the distance. “Jennie, let’s get you on a boat,” Jongin offered softly. The woman looked at Jongin a bit shocked at his kindness to save her life, but Jongin didn’t resent her. He resented his father, he resented that he couldn’t be with Sehun right now instead. The three walked out onto the deck, Jennie stepping into the crowd of the first class. Jongin’s father going to talk to a crewman who easily took the bribe Jongin’s father handed them. 

Jongin looked around the deck at the moment, he saw the string quartet look at one another towards the entrance of the deck. He recalled talking to them, Johnny, Jaehyun, Mark Lee, and Yukhei, all giving each other one sad smile and started to play something lively that one would waltz to. Jongin saw the first class women throwing a fuss about having to get on these ships, how they’d be back on board by breakfast or how one of them wanted to return to their rooms to get a brooch they’ve left behind. He overheard how the first class had to be boarded into boats before the third class people, making a queasy feeling fill his stomach. Sehun, Sehun is in third class and he wouldn’t make it off this boat. They’d keep him in that hold, and he’d die wherever he is. He snapped back into reality when he heard Jennie, “is this a boat just for first class? I hope it won’t be too crowded.”

The kindness slipped from his system, turning to look at Jennie. “Shut up Jennie! Do you not understand that the water is freezing cold and there aren’t enough boats for half the passengers on here!” Jennie froze with her mouth gaping open, Jongin’s father strode beside them. “Not the better half.” Jongin stared at his father, ignoring Baekhyun coming beside to give Jennie the lift up into the boat. “You unimaginable bastard.” The crewmen looked to the three men, the other women weren’t on the deck, huddling in the foyer. “One of you can get on here.” He offered, and Baekhyun looked to Jongin. “Jongin, you take this boat.” Jongin shook his head, bowing respectfully to Baekhyun. “By all means, please get on.” He stepped away from the boat as Baekhyun boarded, starting a quick stride until he felt a strong arm grip his bicep. 

“Where do you think you’re going? To him? To be a whore to that street rat?!” Jongin’s father seethed, Jongin glared at him as his father shook his body. “I’d rather be his whore than be your son.” Jongin at the moment hawked up a load of spit, rolled it on his tongue fast and spat it right against his father’s cheek just the way Sehun had taught him. The man released his arms in shock as he wiped the spit off his face, leaving Jongin to run through the crowd and into the foyer, down the stairs where he’s sure his father couldn’t find him. 

Jongin ran to the stateroom that he knew Yixing occupied, opening the doors out of breath, seeing the man by the fireplace nursing a scotch. “Jongin?” The man uttered confused, Jongin sighed out in relief at seeing him. “Mr. Zhang! Where would the officers take someone to hold them on the ship?” Yixing’s eyes widened, “go to the boats, Jongin!” Jongin shook his head, “I’ll find it with or without your help, without it will be longer.” There was a pause, a beat of silence until Yixing sighed. “Take the elevator to the very bottom, go left and down the crewman’s passageway then make a right.” Jongin nodded, words quick as he recited it mentally, “bottom, left, right. Got it.” Yixing nodded, “please hurry, Jongin.” 

Jongin darted out the room without a bow goodbye, going back up the stairs to where the lifts are. He sees the elevator operator start to close it up, shutting the gate and he ran to him. “Sorry sir, the lifts are closed.” Jongin, without thinking in the split second, opened the gate of the lift and shoved the operator in. His voice was tense, he looked erratic and spoke while moving his hands. “I’m tired of being polite goddamnit! Take the elevator down to the very last level!” The elevator operator gaped and fumbled on shutting the gate, leaving Jongin to take off the life vest since it was starting to get hot and it was difficult to walk around in. They go down in silence until they reach the lower level, water starting to pour in from the gates that pooled at Jongin’s legs making him yell in surprise as well as the operator. “I’m going up!” The operator shout, Jongin could hear the fear in his voice. “No!” Once the elevator landed in the foot of water, Jongin pushed open the gate and waded into the water as the elevator went up and left him alone. 

“Bottom.. left.. right..” Jongin murmured to himself as he splashed through the water, coming into a crossing of corridors and he felt defeated at the moment until deciding to yell, “Sehun? Sehun? Sehun where are you?” Jongin started to run towards the halls that didn’t seem as flooded, still yelling Sehun’s name until he heard a metal clang. He paused, movements still as he heard ‘Jongin! I’m in here!’ in the distance. He turned around, yelling Sehun’s name as he ran towards his voice until he heard it from a door, wading inside to see him standing in the water banging his cuffs against a pipe they cuffed him to. “Sehun!” Sehun breathed out in relief, “Jongin!” Jongin waded over to him, shoving a few floating objects out of his way and grabbed his face to kiss him a few times. 

“Yifan put it in my pocket, I swear Jongin,” Jongin nodded, pressing soft kisses to his lips. “I know, I’m so sorry I didn’t come and find you earlier I was just scared.” Sehun pressed a few more kisses to his lips, then his chin. “It’s okay, I just gotta get out of here, okay? Search the drawer for the keys, anywhere for the keys.” Jongin nodded and kissed his cheek before making his way over to the desks to start rummaging through the drawers. He moved papers on it, going over to another side of the room. “What made you come find me?” Jongin looked up at him, “I couldn’t be without you.” Their eyes were warm, fond as they shared the look between one another with little smitten smiles on their lips until Jongin went back to searching. 

Jongin searched everywhere, trashing the room entirely and knocked things over that started to float in the water that continued to get higher, two feet deep now. “There are no keys in here!” 

“You need to get help, okay?” Sehun reassured, making Jongin nod and take a little shaky breath before wading out of the room but not without looking back at him. Jongin waded down to the end of the hall, feeling the drag of his slacks against his skin but he couldn’t take those off. He climbed up the stairs, water dripping off him as he stumbled into an empty corridor. He broke out into a run, yelling “hello! Is anybody here! We need help!” He recited it until he spots a glass case for fires containing an ax inside. Jongin looked around until spotting a left behind battered up suitcase, picking it up and smashed into the glass and took the ax from the glass, running back down and into the water which made him gasp at it being at his waist. He’s grimacing from the pain at how cold the water is, but he manages by holding the ax above his head with both hands until going back into the room.

Sehun’s managing to keep himself out of the water by awkwardly having his body turned to rest against the floating desk, hugging the water pipe he’s cuffed to. “Will this work?” Jongin asked, moving a few things out of his way and Sehun nodded, “yeah, do a few practice swings on the armoire over there.” Jongin’s scared, panicking that he’ll cut off Sehun’s hand so a practice swing sounded good. His teeth were shattering as he stood in the water, arching the ax back and swung into the wood. “Great Jongin great! Now try to get it in the exact same spot.” Sehun encouraged, Jongin knew he was nervous but he did a much better job at hiding it than Jongin did. Jongin’s hand was shaky, arching the ax back and struck the wood, four inches from the mark. Jongin turned around to look at Sehun, catching his wince until shaking his head. “That’s enough practice, you can do this.”

Jongin made his way over to the pipe where Sehun had his hands spread apart against it to reveal the chainlink that held the cuffs together. Jongin breathed nervously, holding the ax and Sehun looked into his eyes for a short moment. “You can do this, I trust you. Just swing hard.” Sehun closes his eyes and once Jongin got his aim, so did he. The ax hit the metal pipe with a loud bang, Jongin’s too scared to open his eyes but he does and sees the cuffs separated. Sehun laughs out loudly, happily as well with Jongin matching the excitement in his tone. “Oh my god! I did it!” Jongin exclaimed, making Sehun hold his face in his hands and kiss him a few times, Jongin meeting each kiss. Sehun pulled back to slide off the desk and wince at the cold water, “shit that is cold! Okay, we gotta go let’s go.”

They start to wade out the hall, going towards the staircase Jongin had taken but there was only a foot of the stairwell visible. “Too deep, we’ll find another way out.” They waded through the water, making their way through the crewman’s passage, following the stairs up as high as they could go. They were panting as they reached the top door, trying to open it until they found it was locked. “Put your shoulder into it and run against it with me, okay Jongin?” Jongin nodded, smiling over at Sehun who smiled at him back, both happy to be with each other even given the circumstances. 

They took a few steps back, running against it and with a crash, the white wooden door ended up in shambles against the floor. Jongin and Sehun held hands as they walked down the hall, a crewman looking offended at the sight alone. “Here you! You'll have to pay for that, you know. That's White Star Line property!” Jongin and Sehun turned back as they walked to the crewman and in unison they both yelled, “shut up!” leaving the man in shock and the both of them laughed to themselves as they approached the mob of third class people standing against the staircase of the locked gates where they were being held until first class boarded their boats. The both of them were shivering, lips a little blue and a few people noticed as two men handed them spare blankets, Jongin cuddling up in it as Sehun ran down the hall trying every door and gate to find it locked before huddling back up next to Jongin.

“Sehun!” The two men to turned to see Minseok, pushing through the crowd and Sehun sighs in relief, standing to hug him. Jongin notes how they hug like long lost brothers, smiling to himself since at least everyone still has each other no matter what happens. “The boats are already going, Sehun,” Minseok said solemnly and Jongin watched as Sehun ran a hand through his hair, obviously stressed. “We need to go or we’re all going to be drinking saltwater.”Another man who was sat beside Jongin stood up, clearing his throat. “Can I go with you?” Sehun looked him over, nodding and held his hand out, the stranger shook his hand. “I’m Sehun,” “Taeyong.” Sehun took Jongin’s hand in his own next, feeling the final sense of urgency now as they sat staring up at a locked gate guarded by crewmen who wouldn’t even let children up until all of the first class boarded. It made Jongin physically sick, it was absolutely revolting. 

“We need to go, Sehun,” Jongin mumbled, and the four disappeared into the crowd. They found themselves lost in a matter of moments as they ran down hallways. Past a woman holding her children next to her bags, a man arguing with another man, a man consoling his wife, another woman changing her baby’s diaper on top of her suitcase. Jongin watched them all, the people who didn’t speak English who had dreams to start a new life in America, they wouldn’t be able to see the light of day ever again if they didn’t get them all out of there. Jongin and Sehun led as they made their way to a narrow staircase that had a small landing platform next to a bench nailed to the ground. There was a small crowd pleading with the crewman who stood by the gate who obviously looked scared. His voice was shaky as he spoke: “please go to the main gate and it’ll all be sorted here.” 

Jongin shook his head and turned around to look at Sehun, who looked frustrated and angry. Sehun looked around at the scene surrounding them, making his way over to the bench and slammed his fist down on it. “God damn it! Go to hell you son of a bitch!” Sehun started pulling on it, Minseok and Taeyong catching on quickly as Jongin moved people out of the path as they ignored the crewman screaming for them to stop. Jongin watched as the wood broke, nails popping out onto the carpeted floor and the three men held the bench. The crewman backed away now, starting to scramble away and they moved back, breaking out into a run and rammed it into the gate, bending it and breaking it open with a clatter onto the floor. 

The people behind them rushed out, Jongin smiling out of faux sweetness, “now would you be kind enough to escort us and these people to the top deck?” The cowering steward nodded and Jongin joined Sehun at the front to take his hand once more in his own. 

They followed the crewman out to the deck, panic was setting in as crowds of people surrounded the boats. Jongin and Sehun held hands tightly as they walked around, pushing through the crowd and the quartet was still playing as people bumped into the violinist. “Music to die with, now I know I’m in first place,” Taeyong muttered behind them making Sehun snort quietly. They walked around to the other side where boats were being knocked off the top. Jongin caught sight of the bow of the ship tilted downwards into the water, the spot where Sehun and Jongin shared their first kiss was gone. It was truly happening, the ship was going under but he couldn’t focus on that. There was a boat, and it was accepting people. But it was just first class. 

“Sir, you can get on this boat,” they addressed Jongin, making him shake his head and turned to Sehun. “I’m not going without you.” Sehun held his face in his hands, shaking his head. “Get in the boat, Jongin.” “Yes, Jongin. Get in the boat.” Jongin’s father approached them, making Jongin’s eyes widen but step over to Sehun. He didn’t expect to see his father, he didn’t expect to see him at all whatsoever. “My God, look at you. You’re shivering.” Jongin’s father took off his jacket and draped it over Jongin’s shoulders, Jongin didn’t meet his eyes as he only gripped Sehun’s hands and laced their fingers. “Quickly please sir we’ll need this boat to fill up.” The man gestured to Jongin who shook his head. “Go, I’ll get on the next one,” Sehun reassured, but Jongin knew better, making him turn to look at Sehun. “No! Not without you!” 

Jongin doesn’t care that his father is right there, that his jaw is clenching at the emotion the two share and how he hates the way Jongin felt about Sehun. Instead, Jongin’s father leaned to murmur in his ear, “I have a deal that’s letting men on a boat. Sehun will be able to join me.” Sehun looked up at him before back to Jongin with a reassuring smile. “See, I’ll be fine. Hurry up so we can get going, I have my own boat to catch.” Jongin went to shake his head but he was being hauled into the boat, Jongin’s fingers brushing over Sehun’s until it was all a blur until the crewman called for the boat to be lowered away. 

Jongin kept his eyes on Sehun as they went down, and he knew his dad was lying. He wasn’t going to take Sehun with him and as the boat lowered there was this unbearable pain that this would be the last time he’d see Sehun ever again. From a boat that he would be safe in, tears rolled down his face as he watched the flare light up the sky behind Sehun, lighting up his black hair. The pain in his heart was wrenching, he saw the tears in the corners of Sehun’s eyes and it was like his body acted without the rational consent of his mind. His legs were moving, lunging himself across the wall of the lower deck and hoisted himself over. He was running, ignoring the yells from people surrounding them as tears continued down his face and he saw Sehun run down the stairs, immediately running over to him with tears streaming down his own face as he held Jongin’s face in his hands, kissing him as he speaks. 

“You’re so stupid you’re so stupid you’re such an idiot why did you do that?” He asks, Jongin’s arms around his neck tight as he kissed him back each time as both of them stared at each other with tears streaming down his face. “You jump I jump, right?” Sehun nodded, pressing a few kisses to his lips once more and rest his forehead against his. “Right.” Jongin smiled, looking up until he caught his father’s eye with Yifan trailing behind. He watched his father pull the handgun out of Yifan’s coat while Yifan didn’t really stop him. “Sehun, run!” Jongin took his hand and pulled him aside, the first gun bullet hitting a wooden pillar. The two of them screamed as they ran down the stairs, bullets trying to hit them but they missed each one as they ducked down into the stairs as Jongin’s father screamed of rage. 

“Your old man is pretty crazy!” They waded into the water that was a couple feet deep, having to find a way back up to the upper decks. They swim through the water, crossing through the dining room cart before down into the galley where the halls were emptier. Jongin finally managed to take a breath and lean back against the wall. “Sorry about him,” he muttered, standing in the foot deep water to take a few breaths as he shivered. Jongin and Sehun started to walk up the stairs and before his eyes widened as a torrent of water poured down the stairs. “Run!” Jongin took Sehun’s hand and darted down the corridor to the other side, Sehun taking the lead until the water was threatening to pour in from the door. “Go back! Go back!” Jongin and Sehun run into a cross corridor, listening to the sound of the door burst open and water flood into the hallway they were just in, water blasting around the corner as they run up the stairway to find a locked gate.

The white water swirled behind them, Jongin and Sehun shaking the cage in their hands as a startled crewman started to make his way up the top decks. “Help us! Please! Unlock the gate!” Sehun begged, water starting to pour onto the landing from where they stood. The crewman froze, Jongin shaking the gate, “please! Please unlock it!” The crewman nodded, quickly making his way up to the lock and pulled out his key ring. The water was pooling in fast, filling up at their chests and they shivered, the power going out. “Hurry please please!” The crewman was feeling the keys and locks, the water going to their shoulders until the crewman opened the gate, it busting back at the sudden flux of water and swam with their heads pressed to the ceiling until finding a staircase and ran up the endless flight of stairs. 

The ship was tilting, glasses and ashtrays falling off the tables as they started to roll and crash against the floors. They were panting, soaked, shivering to the bone but they couldn’t care about it, picking up a spare life vest on the way, Jongin sliding it on as they went out to the boat deck then back out towards the main deck they were on earlier.

 

When they braced the cold air, Jongin noticed the quartet was playing a slower solemn song as a large wave of water was taking in the bow of the ship. His eyes were locked on the screaming people who jumped into the water, swinging on the ropes and tried to swing themselves into the water. Jongin saw his father on a boat and looked away quickly over to Sehun who seemed to be taking in the mass chaos. Their hearts were pounding with fear in their chest but they couldn’t panic like everyone else, they pushed their way through the crowd as Sehun spoke over the noise of screaming and yelling. “We need to stay on this ship as long as possible.”

They climbed over the rails, climbing the sides to get around the slower people who seemed to be accepting their deaths better than most. The ship groans and pushes deeper into the water as Jongin and Sehun pushed their way to the stern of the boat. The groan happened with a loud splash, Jongin looking over his shoulder to see a steam tunnel fall into the water and people screaming as it happened. “Sehun,” he whimpered out in fear, Sehun taking his hand as he pulled the two up to the stern, the both of them holding onto the railing as the ship started to tilt forward. 

Jongin had his face buried in Sehun’s chest and peeked at the people who didn’t get to hold on in time, people starting to slide down the deck with screams as the ship started to split down the middle. Jongin saw the rush of water fill the split in the middle, making the ship’s power go out completely. Jongin saw people in the silver light of the moon disappear into the crack in the middle as the ship tilt more and more forward until the weight of the water became too much and broke. The ship completely went back upright as the bow of the ship sunk into the water. Jongin heard people claim to be saved but he knew better than that, Sehun did too. 

They released the railing and stood up, climbing over the other side of the railing where Jongin and Sehun first met.

This time, they faced half of the ship, watching the ship start to tilt forward faster since the water was filling the split in the middle. The stern started to tilt faster and faster, people holding on once more and Sehun and Jongin held onto the railing as their bodies started to lay against the railing flat as the boat went into the water. He’s terrified as he watched people fall and tumble straight into the water, watching from the railing he was pulled over two days ago by Sehun. Jongin moved and took his hand tight in his own. He watched the black ocean he was going to end up in, he watched the people fall into it and flail around desperately with their screams in the distance. 

The boat plunges into the water, the deck disappearing and Sehun turns to look at Jongin, holding his hand tightly. “Take a deep breath and hold it right before we go into the water. The ship will suck us down. Kick for the surface and keep kicking. Don't let go of my hand. We're gonna make it Jongin. Trust me.” Jongin looked at him with wide eyes and nodded, looking back at the water, watching the water take the ship in like an elevator going down into an abyss. “I trust you.” 

The ship approached the water faster and faster, Jongin’s heart lodged in his chest with his hand in Sehun’s tightly. He felt Sehun’s hand squeezing his tightly and he looked over at the man next to him who looked at him, leaning over to kiss him once more and despite their lips trembling from being cold and fear, it was a kiss that grounded the both of them right before the ship went under the water. Jongin did what Sehun told him, kick for the surface and keep going but Sehun let go of his hand, making him make an alerted noise underneath the water and felt hands push him up to the surface. He took a deep breath as he hit the surface, eyes opening and ignored the salt water burning his eyes as he looked around. 

“Sehun! Sehun!” He swam through the water and looked around, turning his head to look around. “Sehun!” “Jongin!” Jongin swam over to him, Sehun meeting him halfway. “C’mon we gotta swim away from these people!” Jongin nodded, gasping for air as they both swam. The cold water making it harder to breathe but their movement kept them from freezing. “I see something!” Jongin called out, swimming in front of Sehun over to a large wooden door. Sehun swam behind and kissed him softly as he helped Jongin on it, the door tilting with a little water breaching on the surface. Sehun went climbing on but it tilt, nearly submerging them both until Sehun shook his head and swam to where Jongin’s face. He was so cold, teeth chattering but they held hands and kept their foreheads rested together. 

“It’s so cold,” Jongin whispered, looking over to see a man whistling and Sehun turned to look at him with a reassuring smile through his teeth chattering together from the freezing cold water. “The boats will come back for us, Jongin. They just have to sort the stuff out and row away to get away from the suction.” Jongin nodded, pressing little kisses to his lips. “Thank God for you,” Sehun kissed him softly as they float, ignoring the screams around them and locked themselves up in their own little world in order to try and survive this. Jongin knew if they focused on the horrifying situation of it all, he’d lose hope and so would Sehun, and he couldn’t possibly have that. 

Time went by as they stayed locked in their own world, both rubbing each other's hands after squeezing the water out of Jongin’s coat. Jongin knew it was a while, the lifeguard blowing his whistle was still and died from exposure already. The water was so still he could see the stars from above reflecting into the black inky ocean surrounding them. “It’s quiet,” Jongin whispered, meeting Sehun’s eyes. “Just a few more minutes, it takes a bit for the boats to get organized.” Jongin knew the truth that there wasn’t going to be any boats coming for them, that they’ll be left here to die and it’ll be it for them. Sehun continued though through a very soft chuckle, “I don’t know about you but I’ll be writing a very strongly worded letter to White Star Line about all this.” Jongin meant to laugh but it came out more of a gasp of fear. 

He went quiet for a few moments, looking into Sehun’s eyes. “I love you, Sehun.” Sehun shook his head, holding Jongin’s hand tighter. “Don’t say your goodbyes, Jongin. Don’t you dare do it.” Jongin whimpered softly before whispering, “but it’s so cold.” Sehun shook his head, holding him tight, his breath sounded forced and his voice was weak, shaking from the cold. “You’re going to get through this, you’re going to go on. You’re going to fall in love with someone that you choose, and you’ll have a family with them, and you’ll die an old old man in your warm bed. Not this night. Do you understand me?” Jongin couldn’t shake his head or nod, just watching him. “Jongin, listen to me. Winning that ticket is the best thing that has ever happened to me. It brought me to you, and I am so thankful.” His voice is trembling but his eyes were unwavering with such a strong blanket of emotion that Jongin couldn’t help but nod. “You have to do me this honor of surviving. Promise me you will survive, that you will never ever give up no matter what happens. No matter how hopeless you feel, promise you will never let go and promise you’ll never let go of this promise.” Jongin nodded, voice trembling as well, “I promise.” “Never let go.” Sehun whispered, Jongin whispering back, “I promise I’ll never let go, Sehun. I will never let go.”

Time passed once more with their eyes closed, promising one another to just take a quick rest with their hands still tightly wound to one another. Jongin had ice crystals frozen into his hair, clothes frozen to the board beneath him and eyelashes with small crystals. He only stirred awake when a blinding light hit his face and a man yelling “is anybody out there?” to what seemed to be a watery graveyard. Jongin shook Sehun’s hand, his voice barely audible, “Sehun.” He seemed to still be peacefully asleep, Jongin shaking his hand tightly in his own. “Sehun, they’re here the boats are here.” Jongin didn’t want to believe that he was dead in front of him, shaking his head as his eyes watered even though it stung for them to water. Jongin watched the boat light get smaller as they turned away, he shook Sehun’s hand in his own. “Sehun! Sehun wake up!” He looked to the boats, whispering, “come back… come back…” He felt the hope leave his body and he was ready to give up until he remembered the promise he made.

Jongin looked over Sehun one last time, and despite the fact that he had ice crystals frozen into his hair, eyebrows, blocking his nostrils and his face was the color of chalk, Jongin still found him to be beautiful. He leaned forward to press a kiss to his lips then forehead, moving back now to kiss his hand and sniffled quietly. “I love you Sehun, I’ll never let go.” He gently pried Sehun’s hand from his own and watched Sehun drift down into the water, disappearing into the black ocean and Jongin waited until he did before rolling off the board and made his way over to the lifeguard and took the whistle, putting his mouth to it and blew hard until the lights shined on him and he was lifted into the boat. 

 

Jongin sat in the room looking at Kyungsoo and the others as well as Taehyung with tears streaming down their faces. “Fifteen hundred people went into the sea when Titanic sank from under us. There were twenty boats floating nearby and only one came back. One. Six were saved from the water, myself included. Six out of fifteen hundred.” Jongin wiped at the stray tears away from his face and looked down at his lap, “The seven hundred people on the boats had to wait until we got picked up by the Carpathia.” 

Jongin had a flashback of sitting wrapped in warm blankets as he sipped honey green tea, cozied between his hands the next day on the ship with dark rings beneath his eyes. He cried for a while when he got the chances to and it showed, his head was covered with a blanket that day. Jongin was watching the sea as they sailed, watching his father walk into the area he was in and he quickly hid his face in the blanket. He huddled into himself, watching from the corner of his eye until his father walked out of the area he was in, flashing back to reality once more. 

“That was the last time I ever saw my father. Jennie married off to somebody else, she ended up becoming a seamstress after all by making her own clothing line. My father and mother from what I read in the papers lost all their money, my father put a gun in his mouth within the same year. As far as everyone knew, Jongin Kim died on the Titanic.” Jongin flashed back into the past where he stood in the rain, watching the rain hit Lady Liberty once they were coming close to their port in New York. “Name?” An immigration officer approached him, making Jongin look to the man then back up at the statue. “Jongin Oh.” 

Jongin laughed quietly as he looked to the sad faces in the room, rubbing his eyes a bit and Jongdae cleared his throat. “There’s no records of Sehun anywhere.” Jongin looked up at him and away from his wrinkled hands. “Why would there be? This is the first time I’ve talked about him to anyone,” Jongin looks to Taehyung, “not even to your grandfather. My heart is deep like the ocean and filled with secrets. Sehun saved me in all the ways someone could be saved in. I don’t even have a picture of him, he solely exists in my memory.” The submersible announced it was coming back up to the surface, and Jongin smiled softly at Taehyung, “I’d like to go to my room now.” 

Jongin was escorted back into his room, changing into plaid pajama pants and a tee shirt and gave Taehyung a kiss on the cheek. Once he was left alone, he walked across the ship barefoot with his hand in his pocket. He didn’t bring his cane, making his trip a little slower but he eventually made his way out to the deck, staring into the black ocean and dug his hand in his pocket to pull out the heart of the ocean. Jongin remembers staring up at the Lady Liberty statue and put his hand in his pocket, feeling the necklace and kept it as a reminder of that night with Sehun and now, it’s time to put it back where it belongs. 

Jongin tossed the necklace into the ocean with a smile, watching it sink into the ocean to join Sehun and walked back into the room and curled into bed. He did one last glance over at his photos that he brought, Jongin as an actor in California when he was young on his very first set. Jongin on a horse without a saddle beneath him on the beach going into the tide, then him next to a rollercoaster on the Santa Monica pier, the last one is his family with his lover, Chanyeol. He never did let go, he promised Sehun he’d survive and he’d grow to be an old old man. He was ready to die in a warm bed, he was ready to meet him once more. He closed his eyes, he knew it was his time and when he dozed into a peaceful sleep, he took his last breath.

 

Jongin blinked his eyes open to the distant sound of waltz music, a yellow light hitting his face as he adjusted around him. He looked down at his hands to see that he was young, and he knew this was his heaven, to be back on the Titanic. He looked around and found himself in the foyer beneath the glass dome, looking around to see all the patrons staring on at him in amazement and awe that he finally made it. He didn’t care about that though as he looked upon the stairs to see Sehun with his black hair just the way he liked it, arm behind his back in a suit just like their first dinner together. Jongin raced up the stairs to him and held his face in his hands. “I missed you so much,” he whispered through tears streaming down his face.

Sehun’s cold brown eyes smiled at Jongin so fondly, feeling his hands placed over his. Still rough from work but smooth artists hands just how he committed to memory. Sehun’s pretty pink lips, pretty smile, pretty eyes, pretty everything was right in front of Jongin. He was 18 again and he stood in front of Sehun who rest his forehead against his. “We’ll be together forever now.” Jongin pressed his lips to his, Sehun kissing him back and held him close, arms around Jongin’s hips with his arms around his neck. Sehun held Jongin close and Jongin knew this is the heaven he could be in forever, the heaven he deserved. To be with Sehun forever.

**Author's Note:**

> I saw the movie and I felt the need to rewrite it with sekai. I hope you all enjoyed this and maybe cried a little. no disrespect to any of the people I made the antagonists of this fic, I just needed to make it fit with the story.


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